The Waiting Room
by feebee17
Summary: An unexpected friendship is formed when two officers find themselves spending time at St. Hugh's Hospital.
1. Suppositions

**A/N This is a story for Firebird, because she nagged, and nagged and nagged...**

**And I don't own The Bill**

Millie Brown knew there had to be something wrong. This was the second time in as many weeks that she had seen DI Neil Manson and a young boy, whom she concluded must be his son, together at St Hugh's Hospital. But Millie had her own reasons for being there on the two occasions she had spotted Neil, and had made sure that Neil had not caught sight of her. Still, her curiosity and her concern were raised by their repeated presence at the hospital.

She wondered if perhaps she were doing the wrong thing not going over and asking the DI what was happening. She knew Neil Manson to be a bit reserved, and felt he wouldn't be the type to welcome interference or help even if he needed it. Then again, did she know that for sure? Maybe he would appreciate a friendly face? Maybe he was alone simply because he was waiting for someone to offer him the hand of friendship?

This led Millie to think about her own situation, and how she would feel if someone were to approach her and ask about that. She was trying to fly as low under the radar as possible. If she had her way, she wouldn't be coming to this hospital, with its associations with her past and its constant influx of officers from Sun Hill, the station at which she had previously worked. But in her current circumstance she simply couldn't afford to go to a more exclusive hospital, so she had no choice but to move furtively each time she came here, and try to make her appointments at the times she thought the hospital was least likely to be busy.

Maybe this was the very reason she had seen Neil these two times? Perhaps he was visiting his son when he felt he would be least likely to be discovered? Whatever his reasons, Millie had successfully avoided encountering him again. It was time for her to leave now. Her bladder was telling her she would be wise to make a stop before heading for home, so she made her way to the nearby women's toilets.

As luck would have it, as she was leaving the toilets she found herself bumping straight into someone who was approaching from behind her. She turned around to apologise and found herself face to face with Neil Manson and his son.

Neil looked just as awkward as she felt.

"Millie!" Neil said in a way that expressed both his surprise and his desire to hide the fact he was not pleased to see her.

"Hello sir," replied Millie, smiling at Neil and then at his son.

"Millie, this is my son Jake. Jake, this is Millie. She used to work at my station."

"Hello Jake," said Millie kindly. She looked at him and straight away saw that he really did not look well.

Jake looked her up and down. "You're having a baby," stated Jake, voicing the very thing that Neil was so desperately trying not to acknowledge he had noticed.

Neil gave Millie an embarrassed smile and said nothing.

Millie saw plainly that her secret was out. "Yes, I am!" she said, trying to make it sound like she was happy that he'd pointed it out.

"Congratulations," said Neil, uncertainly. "When's the baby due?"

"Still three and half months to go yet!" said Millie brightly. Then she just stood there smiling, because she couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Well," said Neil, determining to end this awkward situation, "we'll let you get on your way then. It was nice to see you, Millie, and good luck with, um, everything."

"Yes, good luck to you too, sir," Millie attempted to catch Neil's eye so she could make it clear she was wishing him good luck with whatever was wrong with Jake, but Neil wouldn't meet her gaze.

Neil put his hand on his son's shoulder and led him back to the children's ward. After giving Jake a little lecture about how there are some things you just don't say to people, his mind started to reflect on the situation. So Millie was pregnant eh? Why didn't he know that? Of course, he remembered, she had left Sun Hill some months ago. Neil wondered if her leaving Sun Hill was in anyway connected to her pregnancy. He calculated in his head when she must have got pregnant, and concluded it could have been at around the same time she left Sun Hill. Interesting…

Neil had never heard of Millie having a boyfriend, so he wondered who the father was. The only man he had ever been aware of Millie having any interest in was Max Carter. He prayed to God Max wasn't the father of this child. He remembered well the way Max and Millie had stared each other down across the briefing room when they had disagreed about a case. Both he and Rachel Weston noticed it, but neither of them wanted to admit that they read anything into it. Then Millie had been kidnapped and Max had been clearly worried and of course guilty.

Neil had no idea what had happened between them after that. Maybe Max had offered her some sort of consolation and one thing had led to another? Neil hadn't heard of them having a relationship though, or even an affair, and this type of thing was hard to keep quiet at Sun Hill. He imagined that Max would be the type of man who wouldn't be keen on fathering a child. Maybe unplanned fatherhood explained Max's increased belligerence and alienation from his workmates of late? Perhaps he had dumped Millie when she told him? But then he could be misjudging Max. Maybe Millie just hadn't wanted to tell him?

Millie had got to the bus stop when it occurred to her she should have asked DI Manson not to mention her condition to anyone at Sun Hill. She knew the conclusion everyone there would jump to. But she didn't think the DI was the type to gossip. And anyway, he clearly had other things on his mind.


	2. The Night Visitors

They are few things as depressing as being the only single person in a room full of couples. This is especially the case when all the said couples are expectant parents. Although Millie was keen to find out all she could about childbirth, these birthing classes were really hard going for her. The nurse running the class was constantly having to stand in as Millie's partner when they were doing exercises. Or she would be made to join in with a couple if there were discussion questions. In these situations, the pregnant wives usually made it clear they really didn't want a second pregnant female around, especially if pregnancy had made them bloated or store fat in weird places, or given them oily skin or hair. Millie was one of those fortunate women who gained a baby belly, and that's that. If anything her skin was clearer and had a healthy pregnant glow that brightened her pale complexion.

The pregnancy classes finished at 930pm, when visiting hours had long since finished and the hospital was relatively quiet. Parts of it, such as the main cafeteria and doctors' rooms were closed and in darkness as the departing class participants made their way through the corridors to the exit.

Millie walked alone amongst the couples who attended class with her. No one spoke to her. She wondered if she were doing the right thing having her baby alone. Was this really what was best for the baby? And didn't he have a right to know he was going to be a father? Ah, but then she asked herself, would he even care? Somehow she really doubted it.

Feeling somehow more isolated now than before she thought of her baby's father, Millie continued passed the darkened open expanse of the cafeteria. There, beyond the plastic tables and their upturned chairs, she spotted a solitary figure standing gazing out into the night from a large plate glass window. She recognised the figure. It was Neil Manson.

Millie stopped and watched, wondering what to do. Neil was clearly pondering something deeply, and whatever it was obviously wasn't pleasant. Milile thought he looked about as alone as she herself was feeling at that moment. She knew she simply couldn't walk away.

Neil was so wrapped in his own thoughts he didn't notice the reflection in the glass of the figure coming towards him. He was only stirred from his pensive state by the sound of a vaguely familiar voice.

"Guv," it said, as he felt a hand placed gently on his shoulder.

He turned to face the owner of the voice.

"Millie," he said, his voice almost expressionless. It gave Millie no indication of whether he was pleased to see her, or otherwise.

"You OK?"

Neil let out a sigh, "Yeah, I'm OK. What brings you here this time of night?"

"Birth class," Millie responded. "And, you, you've been here with Jake I take it?"

Neil just nodded.

His silence worried Millie. "Guv, if you don't mind me saying so, you don't look OK. I don't want to pry, but sometimes it helps to talk."

Neil's sigh was deeper this time. "I'm sure it does. But, I don't know what I could say really."

"There's something wrong with Jake, isn't there?" Millie asked gently.

Neil simply nodded, and kept staring out the window. Millie studied him carefully. Should she push him further, she wondered? But as Neil continued to avoid her gaze and was refusing to speak, and she felt she'd done all she could do. The last thing she wanted was to hound the man to tears. She concluded it was best to leave him alone.

"Well then Sir, I'd better get on my way. Don't want to miss the last bus. See you around then." Millie didn't wait for a response, she simply turned and left.

It was a few seconds before her words really sank in for Neil. Did she say 'the last bus'?

"Millie," he called, turning and reaching out to halt her retreat. "Did you say you were catching the bus?"

"That's right Sir."

"By yourself, alone, at this time of night, when you're pregnant?"

Millie nodded.

"Where's your car?"

"Well, things started going wrong with it, and I just couldn't afford to get them fixed. Having a baby is expensive, especially when you're on your own." Millie hoped this sounded like a statement of fact rather than a plea for sympathy.

Neil shook his head. "No, I can't let you do that Millie. Come on, I'll drive you home."

"Sir, I can't ask you to do that! It's probably out of your way, and you have…other commitments."

"Millie, firstly, we are not at work so please, call me Neil. Secondly, my commitments here are finished for the day. Now, where abouts do you live?"

Millie told him.

Neil nodded, "That's not far, and it's practically on the way. I've got to head off now anyway, so why not? Please, it's no trouble at all."

Millie deliberated. The night was chilly, and the bus was uncomfortable. And she did always feel a little insecure walking around the streets at night. And there wasn't any sinister undertone to his offer; she could see he was concerned for her safety, nothing else. Then something occurred to her. Maybe he wanted company on the drive home so he could talk about Jake? She knew she couldn't deny him that chance.

"OK, Neil," she said with a smile, as if testing the name. "I'll accept your offer."

"Good," Neil said. "My car's this way."

Millie and Neil walked out the front of St Hugh's together. Both of them kept an eye out to ensure they didn't bump into any of their Sun Hill colleagues. Heaven knows what gossip would spread around the station if they were seen going home together! They reached Neil's car and he gallantly opened the door for Millie and helped her lower herself into the seat. She was grateful for this, because it was already becoming difficult for her.

Millie sat in the car, enjoying the warmth from the heater and the comfort of the plush seats. She sighed. She had never owned a new car herself. And now with the expense of a baby to raise single-handedly, she figured she probably never would.

Neil heard her sigh, and decided that seeing he was the one who had initiated this shared trip, it was up to him to start the conversation.

"Something on your mind, Millie?"

"Yeah," she laughed. "Single parenthood."

Neil gave a half smile. "Tell me about it!"

Millie was perplexed, "Oh, I thought Jake's mother…"

"No, that's not what I meant. She's alive and well, and still involved in Jake's life. It's just, well, she's not coping with the whole thing. I can't blame her in some ways, because I've been largely absent from Jake's life in the last few years. So rather than admit she can't cope, she's saying that it's my turn to do some of the hard work. Anyway for the moment, she's leaving everything up to me. But we were talking about you, Millie."

"Yes we were," said Millie, who was beginning to suspect talking about her own situation was the best way to get Neil to reveal a little about his own. "I was just envying you your car!"

Neil understood what she was getting at, "You think a car is something you can't aspire to, because you're having a baby on your own."

"That's right," Millie nodded.

"I'm sorry about that Millie, I really am. So, are you're going it alone by choice or…"

Millie found his question a little intrusive. For a man who didn't like opening up, it seemed strange he'd ask such a personal question.

"A bit of both." Millie spoke abruptly as if to make it clear she wasn't going to say anymore.

Neil regarded her as she kept her eyes resolutely fixed at the road in front of them. "Sorry," he said. "I guess I shouldn't pester you with questions when I won't answer the ones you put to me."

Millie nodded her forgiveness, but her gaze didn't shift. The car fell silent again.

Neil glanced over a Millie. She was a nice girl, really, he thought to himself. It was just a shame she seemed to go for men like Max Carter. He was sure that that was what had happened to her, that she'd loved and trusted someone and they'd betrayed her, left her in the lurch. But, here she was, trusting him with her secret. Perhaps it would do him some good to let her know his?

"Jake has leukaemia," he blurted out rapidly, as if he feared speaking the words was the equivalent of uttering a curse.

He watched as Millie's brown eyes looked up at him in mute sympathy, as she sought the words to respond to his announcement.

"Oh, Neil!" she said, reaching out her hand and putting it on his arm. "I am sorry to hear that."

"Thanks," replied Neil shortly. A single word response was all he could utter.

"But that's not necessarily bad, is it? There's a lot they can do these days…"

"Yes, there is. Which is why, over these months, I have to sit with my son while he has his weekly dose of chemo, the side effects of which, I am told, can be extremely unpleasant. They are also very hard to explain to a lad of about eleven who's never really experienced anyone with an illness before in his life."

Neil stopped there. Millie searched for words to say.

"So, have they given you any idea of what could happen?" she asked.

"They've given me scenarios, yes," replied Neil. "Some good, some…not so good. It's early days yet."

"It's left here," said Millie, realising almost too late that they were nearly at her place.

Neil turned into the street and Millie guided him to her house. He turned off the engine.

"You all right from here?" he asked her.

"Yes, thanks Neil. And thanks for the lift. And the talk too. I'll, I'll be praying for Jake. And for you."

"Thanks." Neil started the engine again as Millie hopped out of the car.

Five seconds later she tapped on the window.

"Say Neil, seeing as we're both going to be spending time at St Hugh's maybe we could have coffee or lunch there sometime? I'd, um, like someone to talk to from time to time, anyway."

Neil considered her suggestion for a moment. "Sure," he responded. "Here, take my card. Ring me the next time you're going in. Perhaps I could pick you up and drive you there?"

"Actually, I'd really appreciate it. I don't much like catching the bus. See you then, Neil."

"Bye Millie."

Neil waited until he saw Millie open her front door before driving away. She turned and gave him a quick wave.

Neil drove off wondering what he'd just gotten himself into.


	3. Sensitivities

Millie sat with her phone in one hand and the card in the other. She was asking herself if Neil Manson really meant it when he told her to ring him for a lift next time she needed to get to St. Hugh's Hospital. Her scan was at two o'clock this afternoon. Wouldn't he be at work then? She really didn't want to be an inconvenience to him.

But then she looked outside at the unseasonably warm day. The heat had never worried her before she was pregnant. But now it turned her into a sweaty, breathless blob. If she were to be honest with herself, this was one time when accepting the offer of a lift was almost a necessity. She wasn't even sure she could make the distance if she were travelling on an overcrowded bus, with people in close proximity exuding odours that she wouldn't have noticed before she was pregnant. Then there was always the possibility of not getting a seat on the bus, because often these days people simply didn't bother offering seats to pregnant women. What would happen in that circumstance if she felt faint, or actually collapsed, possibly injuring her baby? It was that thought that decided things for her. She punched in Neil's mobile number.

"DI Manson."

"Neil? Hi, it's Millie."

"Oh, hi," said Neil with obvious hesitation.

"Sorry, have I rung at a bad time?"

"No, no, of course not…"

"But you're with people we both know, so you don't want to say my name?"

"Correct. How are you?"

"Well, not doing too well in the heat actually."

"You, um, need a lift?"

"Yeah."

"OK. When?"

"I have to be at the hospital at two o'clock today."

"That shouldn't be a problem. Should I get to you at about quarter past one?"

"If you're sure it's OK."

"Absolutely. I'll see you then."

"Thanks Neil."

Neil hung up his phone and looked over at Max in the seat of the car beside him. Thank goodness, he thought, that Max was too self-absorbed to bother listening in to Neil's calls. Even one that, Neil still strongly suspected, may in fact relate to him.

Right on time, Neil pulled up outside Millie's block of flats and made his way to her door. When she opened it, he could see she'd done the right thing in calling him. The heat was definitely not agreeing with her. She looked like she hadn't slept and almost seemed puffed out by the effort of walking to the door. But she smiled when she saw him and ushered him in.

Neil was surprised how empty Millie's flat was. The furnishings in the open plan sitting / dining / kitchen area were slightly worse for wear. A gadget lover himself, he noticed the television was near to obsolete and the stereo, which was currently shuffling songs, sounded tinny and cheap. This struck Neil as strange, because the number and variety of cds she had indicated she was fond of music, so why the second rate stereo system?

"I just have to get a few things together, so would you like a coffee before we go?" asked Millie, who Neil could see was clearly embarrassed at having someone see the way she was living. He hoped he hadn't made his surprise too obvious.

"Thanks, I'll get it if you like," said Neil making his way into the kitchen.

Millie smiled and made her way off into what Neil presumed was her bedroom, and shut the door. From his vantage point of the kitchen, he peered into the room beside it, and noted various things still in boxes and packaging in there. This had to be the baby's room. And it was clear that this was probably where Millie's money was all going. He couldn't remember using that much equipment when Jake was born. Of course, kids today were spoilt right from the word go. He remembered how, when Jake was little, he had put his foot down against Pippa's family's when they had attempted to fill the house with what he considered extravagances for their new baby. The child had to learn that life wasn't always easy, Neil had said, echoing the solid values with which he himself had been raised. He had managed to fend them all off until the time that, well, the time it all fell apart. God only knows what soul-destroying luxuries Pippa had bestowed on Jake once they left for Spain!

Millie came out of her room while Neil was still making the coffee.

"How do you have yours?" he asked.

"Oh, I'll have white tea thanks. I'm not drinking coffee at the moment."

"Right, of course not," said Neil. He wondered if pregnant women had always avoided coffee or if this was a new trend. Details like that of Pippa's pregnancy were long forgotten. Not that he'd seen that much of her during it anyway. They were both too busy with their careers.

His reminiscences put him in mind of something to ask Millie. "So, are you still working?"

"Yeah, light duties though," replied Millie. "And I'm not taking as many shifts as I used to. Mind you, I've had more days off than usual with this heat…"

"Well, that's what sick leave's for. Better to use it than overwork yourself or…" Neil stopped himself before he said the type of thing pregnant women don't want to hear.

Millie knew he was on the verge of saying something like, "or harm the baby" and was glad he didn't actually say it. All the things that could potentially go wrong constantly played on her mind.

Neil brought Millie her tea and sat down opposite her. Their eyes met and they smiled at each other, then both turned their attentions to their drinks. Neil's eyes flicked across at Millie occasionally as they drank, and the expression on her face troubled him.

"Everything OK, Millie?" he asked gently.

"Oh, yeah," said Millie, who had let her mind wander. "Just thinking about my appointment."

"May I ask what it's for? Nothing wrong, I hope?"

"No, but, you know, I'm just thinking of all the things that could be wrong. Stupid isn't it? Everything's been fine and normal, but…"

"But you worry anyway? Well, it's your first child and I think probably everybody feels the same with their first."

"That's reassuring. I was afraid I was just being neurotic. My mum keeps telling me that more often than not, everything's all right."

"Well, she's right," said Neil and continued drinking his coffee. Then he added as an afterthought, "I don't really know what good worry does. Things just come out of the blue, anyway."

Millie felt like kicking herself. Here she was, with everything on track with her pregnancy, moaning about imagined complications to a man whose child had cancer.

"Neil, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been going on about what might be when you're dealing with..."

"...what actually is?" Neil finished Millie's sentence for her.

"Yes," said Millie in a small voice, even angrier at herself now for making Neil be the one to vocalise it.

"Don't worry about it, Millie. You're just as entitled to be concerned about your well child as I am about my sick one. I do know that the rest of the world goes on regardless of what I'm going through."

"Well, then I guess I wish I hadn't been the one to, um, remind you of it."

Neil rolled his eyes and gave a bitter laugh, "Actually, it's not something I'm finding easy to forget!"

"Do you think we should just get going before I say anything else insensitive?" suggested Millie meekly.

"I think that's a good idea," said Neil, who was determined to shift not only the conversation but also his thoughts in general away from a topic on which he'd rather not dwell. He collected their half drunk beverages and rinsed the cups and put them beside the sink.

Millie was standing at the door with her bag on her shoulder when he returned. He walked out and she locked the door behind them. There were only a few steps to descend, but Neil held out his arm to steady Millie as she walked. He noted she was moving a bit awkwardly.

"Something wrong with your back?" he asked.

"Yeah, sciatica. Another one of the many joys of pregnancy!" Millie was determined to keep things lighthearted after their recent discussion.

"Pippa had that," remembered Neil. "She said I had the magic touch. I used to massage her... back to make it better. " In reality the massage had taken place on Pippa's buttocks, and Neil was very grateful that he stopped himself from saying 'bum' in time.

Millie smiled but didn't meet Neil's eye.

It occurred to Neil as well that this might have sounded like an offer, so he sought a way to make it clear it wasn't. "Maybe you should get yourself an appointment for one...with a professional masseur," he added quickly.

Millie was glad she wasn't the only one with the knack of saying exactly the wrong thing. She was beginning to warm to Neil more and more.

"I see a physio, actually," she said. "You have to be careful with things like that when you're pregnant."

They were at the car by this stage, and Neil simply nodded and opened her door and helped her in.

Once again they drove in silence. Neil glanced over at Millie and was surprised to see she had a big grin on her face.

Millie saw him looking at her and was pleased to see he was also beginning to smile.

"OK. What?" he asked.

"It's nothing, sorry..."

"Maybe I neglected to mention, but it's a condition of travel in my car..."

"All right! I was just thinking about how you're very considerate. You drive me places without complaint, you help me in and out of cars, you steady me when I walk and you even tidy up and rinse out cups. Oh, and you have a nice car. You're actually the perfect man!"

Neil opened his mouth to speak, but didn't quite know what to say.

Millie knew she could befuddle him even further, "Are you sure you're not gay?"

If Neil had been eating at that moment, food would have gone flying all over the windscreen, because he actually spluttered. Then he said, "You wouldn't be asking that if you'd ever seen me shopping. I hate it!"

Millie laughed, "I thought I'd better add that in case you thought I was making a pass at you. You know, like before when you were offering to massage my butt."

"All right then, PC Brown, I think we've established where we both stand..."

"I knew that before, well I knew I wasn't interested in you!" said Millie, cheekily.

Neil gave her his best half-smile and nodded, "Likewise. Look at that! Thank God we're here."

"Should I, um, make my own way up to the hospital, seeing it's the middle of the day and it's busy here," asked Millie.

"That's probably a good idea."

"The place is probably swarming with officers from Sun Hill. By the way, that reminds me. Do people at work know about…"

"Yes, they do," said Neil abruptly. "But they know not to question me too much about it."

Millie just nodded. There was no missing the 'hidden' message in that statement.

Neil continued, "I suppose I should ask too if anyone at Sun Hill knows about your, err, situation?" _The baby's father, for instance?_ Neil wanted to add. He couldn't let go of his suspicions about Millie and Max.

"No," said Millie shortly. "And I hope you understand I want to keep it like that."

_Touchee_, thought Neil. "I won't mention it to a soul. I just thought perhaps your pregnancy might have been the reason you left."

Millie gave him a puzzled look. _He's only a man after all_, she thought to herself. _Sometimes even fathers seemed so ignorant of the whole reproductive process_. As his words sunk in, however, her indignation rose. "Actually, I got pregnant well after I left Sun Hill, several months in fact."

"Oh, OK. Sorry, my calculation of when you left was a bit out. Shows how much I know," Neil was starting to wish he hadn't been so brazen. He could see that Millie seriously resented his question.

Millie felt the colour rise in her cheeks. She knew exactly what Neil was getting at. Even after all these months, the fact that everyone knew about her crush on Max Carter still humiliated her. She wanted Neil's friendship and appreciated his support, so she didn't want to make too big a deal of it. But nevertheless it was time to set the record straight once and for all.

"Just so you know, this is how it is. No one at Sun Hill knows about my pregnancy, no one at Sun Hill has anything to do with my pregnancy. As far as I'm concerned, you're the only person from that station who has any involvement in my life these days. OK?"

Neil was annoyed at himself for having aggravated Millie into such a state. She was after all almost in her third trimester of pregnancy, and it was an uncomfortably warm day. He wished he could take back his presumptuous comment, but falling short of that he did the next best thing and in an uncharacteristic gesture he reached across and squeezed Millie's hand.

"I bet few people have lost the title of 'perfect man' so fast," he muttered.

Millie smiled back at him. "Don't worry, it's reclaimable. All you need to do is provide me with food after my scan, then give me a lift home."

"It's a deal. Call me when you need me. I'll be with Jake."

Neil let Millie get a head start, and he watched from the car as she waddled her way towards the hospital. She seemed so determined to isolate herself from her friends at Sun Hill that he couldn't help but wonder what had happened to cause her to make such a complete break. But, for the moment at least, he had no answer to this, so instead of pondering it further, he got out of the car and made his way in to see his son.


	4. In the Cafeteria

**A/N Many thanks again to Firebird!**

Any ill feelings Millie may have had towards Neil or anyone else in the world were completely eradicated by the joy of watching her baby on the ultrasound. As she entered the lift on her way to meet Neil, her pride and elation were hard to contain. It was only the sombre expressions of some of the lift's other inhabitants that suppressed her ear to ear grin. She had to remind herself that not everyone at the hospital was here for the joyous reason she was.

Neil was already in the cafeteria, having been paged by Millie at the end of her appointment. His mood was slightly more solemn than Millie's. It seemed that today Jake was determined to be miserable. Although their news had been good, the months of worry and uncertainty had really begun to take their toll on Neil. Jake could be so mature and strong in some ways and so needy and infantile in others. Neil felt he could hardly blame him, poor kid. He massaged his eyes with his palms in an attempt to cease Jake's barrage of questions and complaints, which were still pounding away in his head, some months after they were actually asked. _Why can't I come home now? Do I have to keep doing this? I don't want to have the treatment anymore. Why does everything taste funny? When will Mummy come and see me?_ The last question of course was the hardest one to answer. Neil could find neither rhyme nor reason to Pippa's schedule of visits these days. He couldn't tell whom she was trying to punish here: him for being a neglectful father, or poor Jake himself for getting sick and causing her all this worry. It seemed she was always busy with work, and her visits were becoming fewer and fewer.

"You remember Millie, Jake?" Neil asked as Millie approached them.

"Yes," responded a still sulky Jake. "Is she your girlfriend?"

Neil let out a deep sigh. How did you explain why you'd have a platonic friendship with an attractive, available young woman to a young boy? "No, she's just someone I worked with."

"Then why are you spending time with her? Why are we driving her home?"

"Because she's pregnant and she's all alone and needs help."

"Where's the baby's dad?"

"I don't know, but he's not around."

Jake's brow furrowed. He had strong opinions on absentee parents. Then he said, "Her hair's nice."

"It's very…vibrant," responded Neil, who was not particularly partial to red hair.

"And she's pretty," added Jake significantly.

Neil sighed again, "Yes she is. Now, here she is so please be nice to her."

Jake gave Neil an indignant look. His only intended victim for this particular afternoon was his father.

Neil watched as Millie approached them, doing what he could only describe as her best impression of a children's TV presenter. Her eyes were wide open and her face overly expressive, and he was sure that any moment a string of words like, "Hey!" "Wow!" and "High Five!" would spew forth from her lips. He wondered if she spoke like this to all children, or if she were making a special effort to appear bright to Jake because he was sick.

"Hi Jake!" said Millie enthusiastically, as she placed her hand on the back of his chair and bent her face in close to his. Neil wondered if she thought Jake was a bit deaf.

"Hi Millie," said Jake, who, Neil was surprised to see, was grinning back at her and looking genuinely pleased to see her. "Why are you here today?"

This was the question that Millie had been dying to be asked, as she was still bursting from the excitement of it all. "Well," she said, as she lowered herself into a seat between Jake and Neil, "I've been watching a movie of my baby!"

"Really?" said Jake. "How do they do that?"

Millie opened her mouth to give what Neil presumed would be a dumbed down description of the process, possibly requiring the use of puppets, and decided he'd cut her short. This was partly to protect her from embarrassing herself and partly because he just didn't think he could cope.

"Ultrasound," said Neil.

"Oh," said Jake with immediate recognition.

"Jake's interested in all types of technology," Neil explained to Millie.

"I've no doubt he's a clever boy," said Millie smiling at Jake.

Neil was surprised to see Jake once again beaming back at her. _He really likes her, _Neil thought_._

Millie took out a dvd case and showed it to Jake. "They gave me a copy of it to watch at home."

"Can we watch it when we get home, Dad?" asked Jake. He and Millie looked expectantly at Neil waiting for his answer.

_Good grief, it's like having two kids!_ "Not today, as I dare say you and Millie are both probably tired."

Jake looked disappointed. Seeing the expression on his face, Millie reached into her pocket again.

"Do you want to see the photos?" she asked, looking over at Neil to check this was OK. Neil nodded.

"Yeah!" said Jake.

Millie handed the first one to him. Neil could see the look of anticipation on her face as she waited for his reaction.

Jake screwed up his face trying to work the picture out, but once he identified the head, figuring out the rest was pretty easy.

"Wow, check out his fingers dad!" said Jake showing Neil the picture.

Neil looked at the picture, then looked up a Millie and smiled. "All good news, then?" he asked her.

Millie nodded happily, "Yes, everything's fine." She handed the other photos to Jake.

"Excellent," said Neil. "All's well with Jake too. The tests he was in here for are looking good, so soon treatment will be more of a matter of maintenance."

"That's great!" said Millie, gently brushing a lock of hair off Jake's forehead. Jake treated her to another one of his biggest smiles.

Neil hypothesised that Jake was probably missing his mother. While he sat and felt his bile rise thinking about that particular topic, he looked up and noticed a couple of familiar faces across the cafeteria.

"Millie," he said. "Mickey and Stevie are here."

"Oh," said Millie grabbing her bag. "Hey Jake, will you help me play a game?"

"Sure," agreed Jake eagerly.

"A couple of people might come over to see Daddy while I visit the bathroom. Can you pretend that I haven't been here at all?"

"If you want. Why?"

"It's just a joke I want to play on them. OK? Thanks. Let me know when I can return," Millie said to Neil as she disappeared into a nearby toilet.

Mickey and Stevie walked over to the counter. It didn't take long for Stevie's eagle eye to catch sight of Neil and Jake. They collected their coffees and wandered over.

"Hi Guv," said Stevie, "and hey Jake! How are you?"

"I'm good thanks," said Jake with a grin. It was plain to Neil that Jake was on the verge of bursting into laughter.

Stevie looked at the boy, slightly confused. "Well, you certainly seem in good spirits!"

"That's a good lad," added Mickey, not knowing what was the appropriate thing to say to a kid who could be dying. His words were accompanied by a ruffling of Jake's hair.

Jake was finding it harder and harder to suppress his mirth. Neil gave him a stern look.

"You know," he said to Stevie and Mickey by way of explanation. "These drugs can do some strange things to you."

Stevie and Mickey nodded to say they understood. "Well," continued Stevie. "We'd better be off. It was all we could do to convince Max to let us come by and grab a coffee. He'll be in the car by now, impatiently honking the horn!"

"See you later then," said Neil.

"Bye Guv," they said, and then they walked away.

Neil shook his head admonishingly at Jake as he rang Millie to tell her the coast was clear again.

"How did it go? Did you keep my secret?" asked Millie when she got back to their table.

"Only just," said Neil. "He nearly burst out laughing!"

"But they were none the wiser, Dad, especially after you blamed it on my drugs!"

"I suppose we got away with it," said Neil.

"I like Stevie, but why did Mickey play with my hair? And why did Max just stay in the car?" asked Jake.

Neil watched as Millie jumped at the mention of Max's name. The look of happiness that she'd worn since the ultrasound was replaced by a worried frown. This was curious. But she had said that no one at Sun Hill had anything to do with her baby, so perhaps it had nothing to do with the matter of paternity? Maybe she was just embarrassed to be reminded of her crush?

"OK, we give it another fifteen minutes, then we leave?" said Neil to his two charges.

"Cool," said Jake.

Millie, who was by this stage lost in her own thoughts, just nodded.


	5. The Babysitter

Neil hung up the phone and swore under his breath. Here it was, eight in the morning, he had to be in court at ten thirty and the babysitter had only just rung to let him know she was sick and couldn't make it. What was he going to do about Jake? For the last few days, Neil himself had been able to stay home and look after his son as he recovered from a cold, but today there was really no way he could. Jake was certainly on the mend, so perhaps he should just make him go to school? But after months of nurturing his son through an illness from which Neil feared he might not recover, he simply didn't have the heart to surrender his boy to the world unless he was sure Jake was a hundred percent.

Jake was sitting at the kitchen table eating his breakfast, and had gathered from hearing Neil's side of the conversation what had transpired. He decided to take a load of his father's mind by offering the perfect solution.

"Can't Millie come over and look after me?" he suggested.

This thought had of course crossed Neil's mind, but the suggestion was fraught with complications. For one thing, being pregnant made Millie herself vulnerable, and although he was convinced Jake was passed being contagious, he still didn't like the idea of putting Millie's health at risk or of wearing her out. Then there was something in Jake's relationship with Millie that worried him. He couldn't tell if Jake saw Millie as a/ a mother substitute, b/ a potential wife for Neil or c/ a sexual fantasy figure. The third possibility had sprung into Neil's mind when he had seen Millie giving Jake what he had taken to be (and he was sure Millie intended to be) a comforting, motherly hug goodbye the other day. Neil had thought at the time how contented Jake had looked snuggling into her arms. He had only had second thoughts about Jake's motivations when Jake had asked him after Millie had gone home if Millie had always had big boobs or was it just because she was pregnant?Neil reflected how, in his youth, pregnant women hid their bodies. Millie, however, favoured pregnancy clothes that clung to her body rather than disguising her curves and bumps, and who could blame her, when pregnancy so suited her? Neil imagined being an eleven year old boy himself, with all that fecundity amply on display in front of him. Should he be putting Jake (or Millie) in a situation that evoked those feelings?

But what other options did Neil have today, especially at this eleventh hour? It did no harm to ask her.

"I'll ring and see what she's doing," replied Neil.

Neil dialed Millie's number and Jake listened in eagerly for the outcome.

"Hi Millie, how are you? I didn't wake you did I? Yes we're all good here. Well, that's not quite true actually. Are you working today? No? Any other plans? OK, the thing is Jake's babysitter's cancelled at the last minute, and I really have to be at work today. Oh, he's had a cold the last couple of days and I don't want to rush him back to school…no, no he's not that bad. So could you…? Thanks Millie. How soon can you be ready? What say I send a taxi for you in half an hour? Great. We'll see you then."

Neil looked over at his smiling son. "That was lucky eh?" he said.

Jake added indignantly, "I wish you didn't say 'babysitter'. It's not like I'm a baby!"

Neil wondered if this objection was being made specifically because he had used that word to Millie. "What would you prefer me to say?"

Jake considered this for a minute. "I guess that's up to you. How do you see Millie?"

Neil knew that question was loaded. "Millie is my friend. Correction, Millie is _our_ friend."

"Not more than a friend?"

"Definitely not."

Jake frowned. This was something he would have to work on.

The time seemed to fly between the phone call and the sound of the doorbell announcing Millie's arrival. Jake ran to answer the door excitedly, but Neil was standing nearer and got to it first. He greeted Millie with mutterings of thanks for agreeing to do this, then offered to take her coat. When Millie removed her coat he was pleased to notice that Millie's style of dress was a bit more modest than on her last visit.

Millie must have noticed Neil's appraisal of her wardrobe because the first thing she said was, "I'm dressed for comfort today." Then she moved in closer to Neil and whispered, "I actually started to notice Jake's eyes concentrating on…certain parts of my body, so I thought I'd better obscure them a bit, if you know what I mean. And by the way, do you mind if I show him the ultrasound of the baby? He's keen to see it, but I thought I should check with you if you thought it was appropriate viewing for a boy his age."

"That's fine, he can watch it. Thanks for asking though," said Neil.

"Of course, now he's at home with a greater range of dvds, he might not be so keen on seeing mine!" laughed Millie. "Do you have any special instructions?"

"Not really. Just feed him and yourself and make sure both of you take it easy."

"What time will you be home?"

"Hmm, sixish I guess. You're welcome to stay for tea. I'm not great cook, but…"

"Why don't you let me cook for you and Jake then?" said Millie, who was rather eager to pay Neil back for all he had done for her.

"Well, if you can make anything out of what's in the fridge, that'd be great. I presume you can cook?" teased Neil.

"I get by," said Millie ominously.

"Great!" said Neil with decreasing enthusiasm. "I can hardly wait to see what you come up with. Well, I'd best be off!"

"Jake, come say good bye to your father," said Millie, who, Neil couldn't help noticing, was slipping into whatever her as yet undefined role was rather easily.

"Bye Dad," said Jake, trying to sound like his father's coming or going were of no interest to him whatsoever.

"Bye Jake. And make sure you take care of Millie too, OK?"

"Don't worry, we'll take good care of each other," said Millie, slipping an arm around Jake's shoulder.

Neil looked at the grins on both their faces and shut the door behind him, wondering to what mayhem he would be returning that evening…

At around six thirty, Neil opened the front door to find the welcoming aroma of cooking wafting out from the kitchen. It smelt good. He reflected on how nice it was to come home to this as opposed to his customary return to an empty, silent house

Millie poked her head out from the kitchen door to say "Hi! Jake's just having a quick lie down," before returning to her culinary chores.

Neil made his way down to look in on his son, who was sitting up in bed with his laptop. "Everything OK?" he asked.

Jake greeted him with a cheeky grin. "Yeah. I thought I'd come in here because Millie was trying to get me to help her in the kitchen when I was up. So I told her I was tired and needed to lie down."

Neil set his mouth, "Did it occur to you that maybe Millie is tired too, and might need your help? She's pregnant remember!"

"I know but…"

Neil continued to speak evenly and calmly. "Did you think I'd congratulate you for your cleverness in getting out of work? Millie's our guest you know! Don't you like Millie? I thought she was your friend!"

Jake looked ashamed, and, as Neil noted, also a little wistful.

"Jake?" he asked gently. "What is it?"

"I don't know. I guess I kind of liked having her doing things for me. You know, like a real mother."

Neil sat on the bed beside his son. "Jake," he said, patting his son's leg, "You already have a real mother."

Jake stared at the floor. "I know, and I love Mum and everything. But today Millie made me food and brought it to me in bed. And she sat on the bed with her arm around me and sang to me when I said I was tired. It was really nice."

Neil knew that Pippa adored her only child, but he knew where Jake was coming from. Pippa was not the type of mother to do 'motherly' things. She was so focused on her career, and although she was loving in her own way, things like feeding and soothing Jake had always been the responsibility of people she paid.

Neil weighed what he was going to say very carefully before he spoke. "Millie's baby's very lucky. She'll be a great mother."

"Yeah," agreed Jake. Then he gave his father a sidewise look and said pointedly, "But the baby needs a father too."

Neil could see where this was going. "Well, that's Millie's concern isn't it? Now, shall we go see how dinner's going?"

Jake nodded, but added as a parting shot, "It would be good to have a little brother or sister."

Neil paused in the doorway and turned to face his son. He'd better nip this one in the bud completely before Jake started making hints in front of Millie. "I know it would, but you're stuck with me and your mum, and Millie's baby might just have Millie to look after him or her. Unfortunately life isn't always the way we want it to be."

"Wouldn't you like a new wife, Dad? Mum got herself a new husband. It's not fair that you're left all alone."

"Thanks for your concern, son," said Neil refusing to take the bait this time. "Now, we're ignoring our guest, which, I might add, is very bad manners, so come on!"

Neil walked out of the room with a discouraged but not completely despondent Jake shuffling along behind him. They entered the dining room and beheld the set table, complete with candles, napkins and a variety of small dishes from Neil's mismatched collection, each containing some aspect of the vast but simple array of dishes Millie had prepared. What most warmed Neil's no-nonsense heart was the fact that the components of the meal consisted of good old fashioned fare: peas, carrots, roast potatoes and onions, gravy, mint sauce and that leg of lamb that Neil had forgotten about that had been tucked away at the back of the freezer.

Millie saw their faces and beamed. "There's pudding too!" she said excitedly. "Admittedly, it's a packet mix you had in the cupboard, but…"

"Millie, this is looks delicious! I can't think of the last time I sat down to a meal like this! Why, you could say it's just like Mother used to make. But, I hope you haven't worn yourself out?"

"I guess I'm going through what's known as the 'nesting' phase of my pregnancy. Mind you, setting the table seems to have taken the last of my strength, so I think you and Jake will have to wash the dishes."

Neil walked over to her and guided her into a chair. "Here, you sit now, and we'll serve everything up. Jake, do you want to get yourself a drink and… would you like some wine Millie?"

"Can't. Pregnant remember."

"Oh right," said Neil, confused because he was sure Pippa had enjoyed the odd glass or two during her pregnancy. But Pippa had been determined not to let pregnancy slow her down in any way.

"Water all round then," Neil instructed Jake, who went off to the kitchen to fetch some.

Neil and Jake were happy to discover that the meal tasted as good as it looked. Neil realised it had been years since a meal had inspired him to take several 'second' helpings, and he noted that Millie was doing a good job keeping up with him in terms of her food consumption. She was eating for two, after all.

After the meal, the pudding and the dishes, the three of them sat in the loungeroom recovering from their overindulgence. Millie hiccoughed and made a small exclamation of surprise.

"What's wrong?" asked Jake.

"The baby's just kicking, that's all. It's probably wondering what happened to all the room it had before I ate that meal. Ooo, he's really going for it," said Millie, putting her hand on her belly.

"Can I feel it? Dad?" said Jake, knowing both adults would have to give him permission for this one.

Neil looked at Millie, who indicated she didn't mind. "OK," said Neil.

Jake reached over and Millie took his hand and guided it to where the baby was concentrating its movements.

"Wow! He's strong! Dad, come and feel this!"

Neil didn't know quite what to do and looked again to Millie, this time rather awkwardly. Again she shrugged. Neil had been sitting on an armchair while Millie and Jake sat on the couch, so he got up and made his way over beside Millie and knelt down. He glanced for a moment at Millie, then carefully placed his hand on the same region of her anatomy on which Jake had had his. The baby obligingly gave the wall of Millie's abdomen an almighty thump.

"Oo," said Neil, slightly startled by the suddenness of the child's movement. "This one will be a footballer."

Neil looked up to see Millie regarding him with a slightly puzzled expression. Their eyes met for a moment, and it was several seconds before it occurred to Neil that perhaps he should remove his hand. He was brought back to earth by the ring of the front doorbell.

"That'll be my taxi," said Millie.

"Why don't you stay over? Can't she stay Dad?" pleaded Jake.

"It is late, and you are of course welcome to stay," said Neil. "In the spare room," he added hastily, realising this had not been made clear.

Millie lifted herself off the couch and shook her head. "I'd better go home. I didn't bring anything with me. And I'd keep you both awake going back and forth to the bathroom all night."

"Bye then Millie," said Jake, impulsively giving her a hug, and then shyly adding a kiss. He elbowed his father, indicating that he should do the same.

"Bye Millie," said Neil, planting a quick kiss on her cheek. He'd all but forgotten the pleasing sensation of the smooth softness of feminine flesh against his lips.

Millie gave them both a wave and walked out to the taxi wondering exactly what Neil Manson's behaviour just now meant.

Neil shut the door behind her ruminating over exactly the same thing.


	6. Neil's Morning

Neil couldn't remember the last time he had arrived at the office so early. While Jake had been staying or was in hospital, Neil's fathering responsibilities had meant that he always had to organise things for his son before he could leave for work. But as of this particular morning, he had a whole fortnight of not being in charge of him. Pippa and Liam had appeared on his doorstep at the crack of dawn, having stayed the night in a nearby hotel so they could get an early start on their journey with Jake to Liam's brother's farm. Mother and son had had an emotional reunion, while Jake's stepfather looked markedly disappointed with the reception he received. Perhaps the time spent with Neil had made Jake realise there was no substitute for his real dad, Neil thought smuggly. Neil enjoyed sympathetically shrugging at Liam, as if to tell him not to take it too much to heart, far too much.

Rather than staying alone in his now noticeably empty house, Neil had waved the travellers off and hopped straight into his own car and gone to work. He arrived to find CID almost completely unmanned. He dropped his stuff off, got himself a cup of tea from the machine, and went back to his office and shut the door. This was the perfect time to get through some of the paper work that had been filling his in-tray for God only knows how long, without too many distractions.

He'd managed to put his signature to about half a dozen documents when his morning CID team started to appear. First was Stevie, who spotted him through the slats of the blinds to his office and gave him a cheerful wave. Then Mickey and Terry appeared together. Mickey clapped his hands at Neil to congratulate him on his early morning appearance, while Terry nodded and smiled to let Neil know they all appreciated what he had been through. Grace appeared soon after, deep in conversation with Jo. Both women smiled at him. It occurred to Neil he really should make time to see Grace soon. She was obviously a bit bewildered as to why Neil hadn't taken up her offers of a shoulder to cry on. Neil thought the world of Grace, but, well, could Grace ever have related to Jake the same way Millie did? He doubted it.

While he was thinking about his and Grace's friendship, there was a knock on the door, and he looked up to see Jack Meadows standing there.

"Can I come in?" asked the Super.

"Please," responded Neil.

"So, how did it go today with Jake?" asked Jack.

"Pretty straight forward really. He and Pippa were pleased to see each other."

"And how do you feel about it?"

"Ah, well," said Neil. "It's a bit hard to say as yet. I can't say I've had much time to process it."

"Well, see how you go. If you feel like leaving early today, that's fine. Stevie and Max can hold the fort for you."

"Thanks Guv," replied Neil, and Jack walked away and shut the door behind him. At the mention of Max's name, Neil realised the said DS hadn't made an appearance as yet. He frowned and looked at the clock. Max was nearly an hour late. Neil wondered if this had been happening often on the mornings he'd stayed with Jake.

As if he somehow sensed Neil's concern for his whereabouts, Max bounded through the doors of CID. He glanced in the direction of Neil's office unsmilingly, not acknowledging the DI at all, even though it was clear he had seen him. Max sat himself down at his desk and soon Terry was standing at his side. The two men started talking heatedly. It was clear Max was not pleased with what was being said.

Neil's observation of this scene was disturbed by the sound of his mobile ringing. He smiled when he saw that the caller was Millie.

"Hey Millie," he said.

"Hi. Hope I'm not ringing at a bad time. I just wondered how it went this morning. I know it's pathetic, but I couldn't wait to hear."

"Now's fine, I'm just sitting at my desk. As to this morning, well, it all went smoothly. Pippa was of course a bit stand-offish towards me, and Jake didn't make as much of a fuss over Liam as they would have liked, but everyone was cordial and no blows were exchanged."

"So, how do you feel?"

Millie's caring tone felt almost like a caress to Neil. He started to wish he could lay his head on her shoulder. It was funny how two people could ask exactly the same question only minutes apart, and it could evoke such a different reaction each time.

"What can I say? I miss him already."

"Do you think you should be alone tonight," asked Millie softly, speaking before she realised how that question sounded.

Millie's tone and words had an effect on Neil he hadn't quite anticipated. He drew in his breath to respond to her question, but was distracted by DS Carter bursting through his office door.

"Guv, what's this I hear about…"

Neil waved his hand at Max to be quiet. Clearly angry, Max impatiently held his tongue.

"Look, Luv," Neil said into the phone, having realised now was not a good time to call Millie by her name. "Can you hold on a moment?"

"Sure," said Millie. She had recognised Max's voice, and was glad Neil didn't just hang up on her. She wanted to hear what was being said.

Neil put the phone on his desk and directed Max to continue.

"Sorry to interrupt your sorting out of your love life, Sir," began Max sarcastically. "I was just wondering why Stevie and Terry are now taking care of the Anderson case. I've been with it since the start and I..."

Neil began to think keeping Millie on the line was not a good idea. He had absolutely no idea what Max was talking about, and concluded whatever happened was down to the Super, not him. He addressed Max again. "Look, perhaps you can come back in a few minutes when I've finished. Maybe you would have calmed down a bit by then. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll just get back to my mother!"

Max stormed out of the room. Neil picked up the phone. "Still there?" he asked.

"What was that, son?" said Millie with a giggle.

"Sorry you had to hear that. But I really should go take care of it. But listen, I was going to ask you if you wanted to have dinner with me tonight?"

"Sounds good. Your place or mine?" asked Millie, again wanting to kick herself for speaking without thinking about what she was saying.

"Actually, I thought perhaps I could take you out for a change. As kind of a thank you for all you've done for me and Jake."

"Oh Neil, that's completely unnecessary…"

"Let me, Millie, please. Think about it this way. The baby's due in six weeks. How often will you be able to get out when it's born?"

Millie did think about it. "Well, I do see your point…" Going out in public would make it less likely for Neil to act on the feelings Millie was beginning to fear he was developing for her. "OK, let's do it!" she said, then rolled her eyes. She was starting to feel like she'd swallowed a dictionary of double entendres. She could only hope Neil's mind was more innocent than her own.

"Great. I'll collect you at, what, five thirty?"

"OK, thanks. I'll see you then!"

"Bye Millie."

Neil hung up and started on his way to see Jack. Before he reached the door, the phone rang again.

"Neil Manson speaking," he said, without checking who it was.

"So, is the next one going to be a blonde?" retorted an angry, female voice.

Neil took a fortifying deep breath. The last thing he wanted right now was to deal with Pippa on a rampage! "What do you mean?"

"Your next pretty young _con_stable!" There was no misinterpreting Pippa's deliberate emphasis on that first syllable. "Will she be blonde?"

"Pippa, for christsake!"

"Well, it would make sense: Andrea was brunette, this new one's a red head, and after that there's only one more flavour for you to try."

"This is nothing like Andrea! There is nothing going on between me and Millie!"

"That's not what Jake says. He says that you and he spend all your time with this Millie, and that she makes you happy. He thinks you're going to get married."

"Pippa, Jake is a child. He has no idea what's going on…"

"Oh, I realise that! He's far too innocent. So, are you the father of her child?"

"What? Excuse me, but…"

"No answer for that, huh? Interesting."

"You want an answer? Well the answer is no, I'm not. And I'm not even a stepfather. Not that this is any of your business, I might add."

"Isn't it? What if this woman is going to be stepmother to my child? Haven't I a right to know about her?"

"Oh, I don't know! Did you get me to okay your new husband?" snapped Neil.

"That's different. I was never in the habit of having affairs."

Neil took another deep breath. Then he spoke calmly, "One affair is hardly a habit. Anyway, it was a serious relationship!"

"Hmm, indeed, well that's good to know - considering we were married at time! But weren't we talking about your latest tart?"

"Now, Millie is not a tart!" Neil's moment of calm was shattered by this renewed attack on Millie's character.

"Really? Who's the father of her child?"

"She hasn't said."

"Are you sure she knows herself?"

"You are unbelievable! You don't even know the girl…"

"But I know her _type_ Neil! Pretty, a bit stupid, relies on her looks to get what she wants…"

"Oh, come off it! Don't be ridiculous…"

"Jake says you're pretty affectionate towards her. Goodness knows what happens once Jake's tucked safely away in bed…"

Neil composed himself. He knew there was no point arguing with Pippa when she was in a mood like this. "Philippa," he said adopting his most authoritative tone, "there is nothing more than friendship between Millie and me. Nor, I might add, is there ever likely to be!"

"Not good enough for her eh? You poor dear! Well, maybe your luck will change now Jake's staying with me. I bet you'll get very lonely in that empty house! I doubt you'll last the night without asking her over."

Neil said nothing. He hadn't even lasted the morning!

Pippa continued, "Well, well, your silence speaks volumes! Anyway, I've got to go. But we'll talk more about this later, don't you worry!" Pippa hung up without another word, satisfied she's won this round.

Neil sat back at his desk with his head in his hands. On reflection, he was glad that Pippa had removed herself from the scene when Jake got sick. He didn't know how he would have coped with all the worry about Jake if he had to deal with Pippa's constant recriminations as well! Thank goodness that in place of Pippa's articulate hysteria he had had Millie's calming, unobtrusive support and humour. Neil wondered how he and Jake would have got on had not Millie been on the scene. From the moment Jake and Millie first talked that day in the cafeteria, it was like a spell had been cast over Jake. Sure, he still managed to get in his little digs at Neil's desertion of him, but on the whole he had been a much happier, less sulky boy. Maybe it was the way that Millie seemed to have a foot in both the adult and child camps? She could laugh and muck around with Jake just as easily as she could persuaded him gently to co-operate with whatever she or Neil required of him. If Neil had told Jake it was bedtime, Jake would have complained about being treated like a child until sufficient time had passed that he could feel that he had effectively defied his father. If Millie said the same thing, Jake would eagerly get into his bed just to earn a kiss on his forehead and a song sung while he nestled snuggly in her arms.

As soon as Jake had cottoned on that his pleasing Neil made Millie happy too, his behaviour towards his father improved leaps and bounds. Neil had feared that Jake had a bit of a crush on Millie, but now he thought that it was more accurate to say that Jake was sizing Millie up as a mother figure for himself and possibly a partner for his father. Neil shook his head at his own lack of foresight regarding this when he brought Millie into the family fold. He should have realised this would happen, and that as soon as the opportunity arose that Jake would express his hopes to his mother. He also should have predicted the force with which Pippa would respond to a possible usurper. He was sure he hadn't heard the last about this from her. He was so looking forward to tonight when he could unburden (nearly) all his worries about Jake to Millie. Even without his articulation of most of things he felt, she still seemed to understand what he was going through. Neil pictured the expressions in her deep brown eyes as he spoke to her tonight; the look of concern for him, the odd twinkle of laughter, the smiling sympathy as she placed a hand on his own and gave a gentle, understanding squeeze. There was no doubt about it. Neil had really come to depend on Millie. What that meant in the long run, he had absolutely no idea.

Neil got up from his desk and started to make his way to Jack's office. It was time to confront Max. If only Millie could keep Max Carter in check, he thought, both his own and Millie's lives might be a whole lot easier.


	7. Past and Present

Once she had hung up from Neil, it took quite some time before Millie felt able to raise herself from her sofa. Her tiredness and the sheer dimensions of an almost full-term pregnancy were limiting her mobility at the best of times, but after that call it was as if an additional weight was upon her. This weight had descended the moment she heard Max Carter's voice in the background. Hearing him then had been especially unsettling because he had been in the full flight of his anger, displaying the absolute worst of her memories of his character. What she heard hurtled her back to the Millie Brown she had been almost exactly a year ago, just before she had left Sun Hill. It was like all the gains she had made since then, all the benefits of the healing power of the passing of time had been erased at the sound of Max's ranting. She suddenly felt small, alone, isolated. She started to feel like a fool.

Until the day that she had seen Neil Manson at St. Hugh's and they had started their friendship, Millie had thriven on the absence of anyone in any way connected with Sun Hill station from her life. She didn't miss any of her old colleagues (with the possible exception of Roger), and at her new station policing had once again begun to feel like a fulfilling and exciting occupation. In the period between leaving Sun Hill and her pregnancy, Millie had been, on the whole, happy. Occasionally her mind drifted back to those horrible months after her kidnapping, and she was faced again with those feelings of humiliation. Her most depressing memory was naturally that of her fawning behaviour towards Max Carter. But ultimately Max had not been the reason she left Sun Hill.

As she sat on her sofa, the movements of her baby clearly visible through the wooly jumper in which her stomach was encased, she once again relived the events of the day that had led to her decision. She and Nate had been chasing up some information for a case they were working on with Max. The day had started with Max and Millie exchanging some pleasantries, so Millie was feeling more self-assured with him than she had for a while. When they ran into Max at the station, Millie had begun to relate her news to him, only to be cut off abruptly, mid-sentence. He didn't even apologise for not listening, he just drowned out her words with his own voice and left her standing there, mouth still open. Nate wondered out loud what Max's problem was. Millie had been too upset to express much more than disappointed bewilderment.

When all was said and done, however, Max being rude was hardly an unusual occurrence, and Millie probably would have quickly gotten over it. Had she not overheard Nate talking to Leon about it later on…

Leon had been unburdening himself to Nate, telling him what a complete prick Max had been to him that day, when Nate had added his two bob about Max's reactions to Millie.

Leon had groaned, "Oh God, she's not still in love with him is she? I thought she'd finally realised she was flogging a dead horse there?"

"Apparently not! You should have seen it, mate. She is all smiles and sweetness, and Max cuts her off cold, just like that. Just acts as if she's not even there…"

"How did Millie take it?"

"Oh she was hurt, you could see that. But, you know, I hate to say it, but I've started to look at Max's reaction more from a guy's perspective."

"Meaning what exactly?" queried Leon, amused by Nate's declaration of his adoption of a new philosophy.

"Meaning, what's a guy in Max's position supposed to do? She doesn't take the hint, does she? What choice does he have but to be rude?"

Leon didn't especially want to hear Max defended that day, but he could see where Nate was coming from. "I see your point…" he began uncertainly.

Nate continued. "...I know you don't like Max, but really, it's getting beyond a joke isn't it? This has been going on for months! Why can't she see she's just making a fool of herself over him, and ultimately that's turning him off?"

"I guess you're right," conceded Leon. "When we started here, she had a bit more spunk, a bit more cheek, you know what I mean? Now she's just…"

"A bit pathetic?" suggested Nate.

"Exactly," Leon replied. "You know, I used to think I'd go her myself, but now, somehow, she just doesn't do it for me anymore. Attractive enough but…"

"Too needy?"

"Dead right."

On the other side of the lockers, Millie stood speechless, with a sick feeling like she'd just been punched in the stomach. She liked Nate and Leon, thought they were her friends in fact. She had believed they liked her. But now she re-evaluated their every kind word or gesture from the viewpoint that they were acting out of pity for her. And she could see that for a long time this had been the case. At the same time she'd been hating herself for being such a fool for Max, they'd been liking her less and less as well. And then it hit her. She couldn't work with these people any longer. She made up her mind that as soon as she could, she would put in for a transfer. Until then, she would just keep to herself.

When she left, she went without a word to anyone...

Tears were in her eyes now. She hugged her pregnant belly, as if her baby were her only real friend in the world. She heard her phone suddenly beep to say she had a text. She looked at the phone through her tears and she smiled. The text had come just at the moment she needed it most. It was from Jake. She opened it and read it.

"here now miss u look after dad & mungo xxx".

Millie's smile broadened at the name 'Mungo'. Jake had christened her unborn baby that. He had been trying to think of a name and had eventually started pestering Neil for suggestions. After a while, Neil had snapped back with what Millie was sure was the worst name he could think of off hand. The name had really tickled Jake's fancy. He began talking to Millie's stomach using the name. He started running through the house having games of football with his new imaginary friend. "Jake kicks the ball to Mungo. Mungo to Jake, Jake back to Mungo…"

Millie thought about how she and Neil had watched Jake play and how they had laughed about it together. _Dear Neil_, she thought to herself, _and dear Jake too_. She wondered how she could ever let herself wallow in the feelings for the increasingly distant past when she had these two wonderful people in her life.

She started to text back to Jake to say that she was going out with Neil that night, but then it struck her that perhaps the sound of her and his father going out to dinner had a whole different ring to it than sharing a meal with Jake there to chaperone. So she simply said she had spoken to Neil and that she would keep in touch. Then she added how she missed him, and sent her text.

Millie wiped her eyes, and, placing one hand on the arm of the sofa and another behind her, heaved herself up. It was time to go into her room and find something decent to wear for her evening out. She sighed. She knew she couldn't go for glamour in her choice of outfit tonight. The most she could aspire to this evening was warm and stretchy. Very stretchy...


	8. Date Night 1

Millie was once again seated on her couch and putting the final touches to her make up as she waited for Neil's knock at the door. She had decided it was best to move away from her bedroom (or more specifically, from her full-length mirror) as soon as she could after a cursory self-inspection. The sight of herself in her full-blown pregnant glory, berobed in heavy winter fabrics for her evening out was too much of a shock to the system, even though she had been living with her ever-increasing form for some time now. Even from her hand mirror, in which all she could see was her face, the evidence of her continued inflation was there in the roundness of her cheek and, horror of horrors, the beginnings of a double chin! Millie rifled through her make up case in search of something to create the flattering illusion of shadow.

In some ways the ongoing distortion of her features and form were useful, especially tonight when she was going to be spending 'alone time' with Neil. A few looks and actions had caused her in recent times to wonder just how 'platonic' Neil wanted this relationship to be. And what did she herself feel about it? This was another concern. She had asked herself the question 'Do I love Neil?' and had found herself answering 'Yes.' He really was, at this time in her life, the central person in her sphere: he was her confidante, her sounding board, her support. But then she asked herself 'Do I feel for him romantically?' and the answer was a resounding 'No!'. But why not? Why wasn't someone with whom you related so easily, whose calls and visits you awaited with anticipation, in whose company you felt so relaxed that sometimes words were just not necessary, desirable to you? It wasn't like he was unattractive to her as such. He was a good ten years her senior, to be sure, but that didn't worry her at all. Millie tried to work out why it was she didn't want him, but her logic simply couldn't provide her with an answer.

Neil drove through the start of the evening peak traffic with Pippa's words still ringing in his ears. Some of what she had said he could just dismiss immediately as hysterical nonsense. He didn't believe Millie was a 'tart' who had no idea who had fathered her child. Nor was she a coquette. There were indeed some ways in which Millie benefited from the relationship, but certainly not enough to make it worth her while hanging around with him and Jake just for the sake of what she might gain. And anyway, Neil didn't doubt for a moment that she gave just as much, if not more, than she got. Neil reflected it was much harder playing surrogate parent to a boy recuperating from a serious illness than it was to drive an expectant mother to the hospital occasionally. There was no question that in their bundled-together 'family', Millie was giving more than he was in that respect. Neil definitely cared about 'Mungo's' wellbeing, but he wasn't really undertaking any actual fathering duties, nor did he intend to take any on in the future. Yet Millie was certainly 'mothering' Jake. Was this fair? How would Millie feel if he suggested he take an active role in Mungo's life? Despite all of her generosity towards Jake, Neil suspected Millie would be very wary of such an offer. In fact, he was sure it would be met with a refusal.

So, here he was on his way to collect Millie to spend an evening alone in her company. They were both mature, single adults. They got on well and liked spending time together. They both had family ties. They understood each other's work. And he thought she was beautiful, funny and sexy. So, why would he hesitate to start something with her? OK, she was pregnant, so he was of course treading a bit softly around her feelings. But being pregnant didn't stop you starting a new relationship or even having sexual urges. Neil remembered the aphrodisiacal effect pregnancy had had on Pippa, though he had to admit that probably had less to do with his physical appeal than it did with her getting off on the sense power that creating human life gave her. And Millie was so bountiful and ripe, all cascading hair and full eyes and lips, even at this stage of her pregnancy she was desirable.

Neil realised he was getting close to Millie's house and that now would be a good time to stop mentally seducing her if he wanted his wits about him. After all, how many women did a man see in a day that he would contemplate having sex with? It wasn't like feeling these things meant anything special. The only difference with Millie was that they had a close friendship now, and were also playing a major part in the every day aspects of each other's lives. Neil parked the car and walked up to the front door, confident that his feelings towards Millie had been put back in their usual respectful, chaste place.

And then she opened the door…

Neil was completely unprepared for the sight of Millie when she'd made an effort to spruce herself up for a night out. When he thought about it, he couldn't think of an occasion he had seen Millie with her hair meticulously styled and wearing what was obviously her special occasion make up. The effect was just…breathtaking. Her lips were wetly pinked, her cheeks aglow (from being in an overheated room all day no doubt) and her flowing hair was loose but swept off her face. Little did he know that only an hour before Millie had been crying into her pillow in frustration at how nothing would make her face look thinner, minutes after having discovered that her overcoat no longer buttoned up over her belly.

And then there was the shy smile she gave him, which to her meant 'I know I look dreadful, but it's the best I can do' but to him was like a prelude to a kiss. They stood either side of the doorway, regarding each other nervously, wondering who was going to break the awkward silence.

Eventually, Neil slipped through the doorway and into the flat. He decided it wisest not to risk offering Millie a kiss.

"You look beautiful Millie," he said softly.

"I look like a whale!" countered Millie with an embarrassed laugh.

"Well then, let me say that I never knew before now that I found those creatures so…attractive."

Neil had stopped himself just in time from prefacing the word 'attractive' with 'sexually'. Regardless of his last minute save, Millie had picked up on his intention anyway, and she cast her glance down to the floor and blushed deeply. The way in which she raised her eyes gradually to once again look at Neil through those darkly mascaraed eyelashes did nothing to quash his amorous feelings.

"Well, thank you!" said Millie, with another little laugh, this one tinged with uncertainty. "Would you like to…come in, or shall we get going?"

"Best to get going, I suppose," said Neil, who had been standing with his hands behind his back, as if to prevent himself from acting on any inclinations he might have to reach out and touch Millie.

"I'll get my coat," said Millie, turning her back to him to make one last ditch effort to do up that coat button. She failed.

She pulled the door closed behind them, and Neil performed his now customary task of aiding Millie down the stairs and to his car. One he had deposited her safely into it, he shut the door and heaved an enormous sigh of relief that at least one stage of what was fast shaping up to be a very uncomfortable night had played out without a hitch.


	9. Date Night 2

Despite trepidation on both sides, Millie and Neil's dinner date ended up being a very pleasant evening for both of them. The food was excellent, and being pregnant allowed Millie to indulge her love of desserts without caring how it looked. Neil had carefully selected the restaurant for its seclusion, which meant they didn't have to worry about being seen, and their dinner table conversation was easy and natural. Perhaps knowing they were on public display put them both at ease, or at least halted their worries about their own and each other's feelings. Whatever the case, neither could remember having such a enjoyable evening out in a long time.

"Well," said Millie, sneakily helping herself to a second after-dinner mint. "That was really nice!"

"Yes it was," said Neil, playfully slapping Millie's hand, too late unfortunately to secure his purloined lolly.

"I can't help but think though how strange it seems that Jake's not here," said Millie, daintily wiping the tell-tale melted chocolate from her finger tips.

"Well, I can't say it would be exactly his scene. I notice a distinct lack of chips and burgers on the menu, for instance," smiled Neil.

"Yes, the evening was all a bit 'adult' for him, wasn't it?" This was another one of those times when she wished she'd bitten her tongue.

Neil, however, had had a glass or two of wine and although he was in no way intoxicated, he was feeling a bit 'relaxed'. So instead of averting his eyes and pretending he hadn't noticed the clumsy suggestiveness of Millie's words, he continued with the theme.

"Definitely an 'Over 18' rated evening. Though it hasn't yet wandered off into 'R' territory!"

Neil's being at ease made Millie relax a bit more too (or maybe it was the chocolate). "So, are you about to tell a dirty joke then? Or is a stripper about to appear?"

"My money's on the stripper…if you know what I mean," said Neil, laughing this time at his own dubious words.

"Not much experience with strippers then Neil? The money's 'in', rather than 'on', in their case. Ooo, in their g-strings I mean!" Millie started to giggle.

Neil shook his head. She was behaving remarkably like Jake when he was up after his bedtime! "OK, before the conversation degenerates any further, I think it's time to head home." He summoned the waiter for the cheque.

Millie reached for her handbag to pay her share, but Neil waved his hand.

"This is my shout, Millie. I want to say thanks for all you've done for me and Jake." Neil reached across the table and grabbed Millie's hand.

Millie smiled back at him, her eyes moistening. "Oh, it's nothing Neil. It's my pleasure really. You and Jake…God, I don't know how I would have coped without you! This last year, well, so much has happened! I've lost so many people from my life, and there were times when I just felt so alone."

Both Neil's hands were now on Millie's and he squeezed them tightly. "There, there, I know what you mean," he said quietly. "Say no more. Now, let's get out of here, eh?"

Millie nodded and soon Neil was pulling out her chair and helping her out of her seat. He collected her coat and slipped it over her shoulders. Then he donned his own, and they walked out of the restaurant together.

It was early winter and the night air was cool as they made their way the block or so back to Neil's car. Neil watched Millie out of the corner of his eye with amusement as they walked . She was obviously conscious of her protruding belly, and was trying to place her arms so as to keep the flaps of her coat as close to closed as the would stay.

"Mungo getting a bit of a draught?" Neil asked drily.

"Well, it's his own fault for eating so much," Millie said, talking down at her tummy to scold her voracious baby.

"One mint too many, hey?" Neil teased.

"Sheesh, let's stop off at a shop and I'll buy you a whole box of after-dinner mints if you want them!" Millie teased back.

"Too late, here's the car," said Neil, opening the door for her and helping her into the seat. "Not as easy to fit you in there as it once was, is it?" he joked.

Millie treated him to a glare, then turned away from him before he could see her breaking into a smile.

Neil seated himself in the car beside her and they were on their way. He looked across as Millie was staring out the window.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he said.

"Oh, I was thinking how much has changed in the last year. It's just about my anniversary of leaving Sun Hill," Millie sighed.

"Is it a, um, 'happy' anniversary then?" queried Neil .

"Happy to have left, yes. But a year ago I was far from happy."

Thinking she might be in the mood for talking, Neil tried to dig deeper - not just out of curiosity but for the good it might do her. "Is that why you left Sun Hill? You were unhappy there?"

"Yeah," said Millie vaguely, returning her gaze to the world flashing by the window.

"Any particular reason?"

"Hm, well, I guess it was the way people saw me."

"What do you mean?" Neil tried to remember his own impressions of Millie back then, and if anyone had ever mentioned anything in particular about her to him.

Millie shrugged, "I mean I'd just gained a reputation I didn't want."

Neil was perplexed by what Millie meant. Maybe Pippa was right after all and Millie was promiscuous? Or maybe she was talking about her infatuation with Max Carter? Neil presumed the latter and didn't quiz her further. Instead he said, "Being held hostage must have been terrifying."

Millie just nodded. "Everything certainly changed for me after that," was all she said.

An uncomfortable silence followed, and rather than spoil a perfect evening, Millie sought put things back on track. So she directed the conversation to what she considered a more cheerful topic.

"So, have you spoken to Jake?" she asked.

Now it was Neil's turn to feel awkward. "No," he said, "but I did get a call from his mother."

"Oh," said Millie, noticing the tone of Neil's voice move still further from the light-heartedness that it had had when they started the drive. "Any particular reason for her call?" All sorts of possibilities started to bounce around in her head. "Jake's OK isn't he?" she added anxiously.

"Yes, Jake's fine, don't worry. But he mentioned you to Pippa and, well, she didn't take to the idea of there being another woman in Jake's and my lives."

"I see," said Millie. She knew Pippa was remarried and had moved away. For some reason she found herself really resenting the fact that Pippa felt she still had a right to pick on Neil. Jake was still her business, but Neil wasn't! "Doesn't she approve of you having friends?"

"Not beautiful young female ones. Especially not police woman."

The implications of his first sentence were diminished in Millie's mind by the second one. "Why not police women specifically?" she asked.

Neil cursed himself for not realising that such a throwaway line would lead to further questions. He took a deep breath before he said, "Before Pippa and I separated, I had an affair."

"Oh," Millie didn't know what else to say. She would never have thought that would be the type of thing he'd do.

Neil felt he had to defend himself. "It wasn't just a physical thing you know. I really did love her. I wanted to leave Pippa for her."

"So what happened?"

"She died." There they were. Two simple words to sum up one of the most momentous events of his life.

Millie could see she would get no more than just those two words. So she offered two in return. "I'm sorry," she said.

Neil smiled weakly in appreciation of her offer of sympathy. "Thanks, but it all seems such a long time ago now."

His last words were spoken as he was turning into Millie's street. As was his custom, he got out to help Millie from the car and see her safely at her door. As they moved slowly along, Neil felt the moment of truth had come. There would most likely never be a better time to try kissing Millie than at this moment, even though remembering Andrea had dampened his enthusiasm for this experiment somewhat. He was sure his feelings were Millie were completely different to what he had felt for Andrea. But he needed to know how he felt for sure and the sooner they sorted out where things stood, the better.

When they got to the door, Millie guessed what was on his mind. It was something in the way he turned himself directly to face her, then looked nervously at his feet. He opened his mouth to speak to her, but before he had said a word her arms were around his neck and she had pulled him as tightly towards her as her swollen belly would allow. The position ensured that was no chance of his getting his mouth anywhere near hers. Neil capitulated, and realised all he wanted to do was put his arms around her waist and hugged her back with equal affection.

Soon Millie released her grip, leant back and cupped Neil's face in her hands. "Neil," she said looking him straight in the eye. "Thank you for tonight. You are a very dear friend to me and I love you."

She continued to stare directly at him as to fathom whether or not he understood what she was saying. He looked back at her and smiled. He took one of her hands in his and pressed it to his lips. "Likewise," he said.

"I'll speak to you tomorrow," said Millie as she turned the key in the lock.

"Sure. Goodnight," Neil said, waving as he backed away.

Millie waved and shut the door.

Neil reflected on what had happened as he walked back to the car. He had to admire the way Millie had handled things. He knew he should be disappointed that a woman he loved and was attracted to had turned him down, but somehow he wasn't. In fact, in some ways it was a relief. He thought to himself that it would be nice to be in a relationship again, but Millie was not the person he wanted to have it with. But he was happy in the knowledge that even though he wouldn't have her love, he could rely on her friendship.


	10. The Arrangement

Really, it was the last thing Millie needed right now. Here she was, six weeks from her due date, with Christmas only a week and a half away, and suddenly her landlord had decided that he didn't want to wait until March, as they had arranged, for Millie to vacate her flat. Could she be out by the end of January instead, he had asked? Since he and Millie had had their discussion about her leaving her current flat to move into the new place her parents had bought for her and her baby, he had been thinking about ways in which he could improve the flat to make it more of a money-spinner. Millie felt she should be ringing up every helpline she could think of to get a thorough knowledge of her rights, but she honestly felt she didn't have the strength for a fight. The landlord wasn't threatening to throw her out as such, but was constantly in touch, wanting to see if she had changed her mind, letting her know of temporary accommodation the estate agent could arrange for her at exorbitant prices. Millie just didn't need the stress.

She could always go and stay with her parents. But they did not live locally and it would just be too hard to go to all the bother of finding new doctors and hospitals in the limited time left before the birth. Once the baby was born it wouldn't be an issue. She could happily stay with them and would be quite appreciative of the additional support while she was settling in to motherhood. But until then she didn't want to move too far away from St. Hugh's and her chosen obstetrician.

So, what was a girl to do? She needed badly to talk it over with someone, Neil being her first choice. But she knew what would happen if she mentioned it to him. He would ask her to come stay at his house. Jake was currently getting passed between Neil and Pippa, and was spending the fortnight of Christmas and New Year with his mother, so Neil would most likely appreciate the company. And Millie was sure she'd enjoy it too. But, having only a week or so before established that their relationship was never going to be more than friendship, would her moving in be too much to ask? Neil had seemed quite comfortable with their platonic status, but could she trust that? She had been so sure he was interested in her 'to a degree', but was it to the degree in which should the opportunity arise, he would act on it? Millie could think of nothing worse than having move out of her flat to Neil's, then having to leave there as well - unless it was the idea that perhaps Neil's friendship would be lost in the process.

While Millie lounged in her usual spot on her couch, deep in thought, her phone rang. She said a silent prayer that it wasn't her landlord again.

"Hey, Millie, it's Neil."

"Neil, how are you?"

Neil noted her subdued response. "OK, what's up?"

"Oh, nothing I want to worry you about..."

"Millie, you know when you're worried, Mungo's unsettled, when Mungo's unsettled, Jake gets upset and when Jake gets upset..."

"All right! I get the idea. I just didn't want to bother you, that's all!"

"Well, when you're bothered, I'm..."

"Shut up already! I have a bit of a problem in terms of my flat, that's all."

"Is this the flat you're in now, or the one you're moving into?"

"The one I'm in now. The other's still set to go ahead."

"So, what's the problem?"

"The landlord wants me out earlier, like next month earlier."

"What? He can't do that!"

"No, he can't. But he keeps gently informing me of alternatives. And I think he's going to keep doing it until I give in."

"Well, I wouldn't call you a pushover, Millie, so I'm sure you won't let him bully you."

"No I wouldn't. But, you know, I just don't want the hassle. If I weren't pregnant I would just move to my parents and be done with it."

"Well, I guess that's always an option. Jake and I would miss you of course."

"I'd miss you guys too. But my real problem is St. Hugh's."

"Hmm, yes, it is a bit late in the piece to change hospitals, isn't it?"

"Hospitals and doctors too. It's funny how much I hated having to go to St. Hugh's but now I can't imagine having my baby anywhere else. Anyway, where are you? I take it you're at work?"

"Yeah. Another boring day of staff conflict. Nothing changes."

"Well, I shouldn't keep you then."

"Should I call by on the way home? Maybe bring you some dinner? You sound like you could use some cheering up."

"That would be great. I'll see you then."

"Bye, Millie."

Once he was off the phone, Neil considered Millie's situation. It worried him to see her stressed, especially so close to her baby's birth. There was an obvious solution of course, but what would Millie think of it? His garage and attic could store the bulk of Millie's possessions quite easily, and there was a room and bathroom at his place she could call her own. Unless her baby was late, it wouldn't be for more than a month. And Jake would love it. Of course, it would send Pippa right off the deep end...

Neil decided he would raise the idea with Millie when he saw her tonight.

Millie came to the front door smiling, then shuffled her way back to her couch. Neil was used to the routine by now. Millie was generally so tired at this time of the day that he just took charge of everything, and he had learnt the whereabouts of everything in kitchen. He knew exactly where to deposit her banana ice creams, always removing one from the box to take to her to devour while he organised plates and reheating the meal. Even the woman at the shop where he bought the ice creams had given up giving him mystified looks at his purchasing such an item in winter. Now she just asked him how his wife was, and rather than explain the situation he would just tell her how long Millie had to go, and recount her latest new pregnancy 'symptoms'.

Neil put the food in the oven, made himself a cup of coffee and came to sit beside Millie just was she was licking the last of her ice cream off the stick. Without even thinking he reached across and took the stick from her hand and placed it on his saucer so she wouldn't have to move from her comfortable position. Millie smiled across at him gratefully, then waited for him to recount the main events of his exciting day. Even a day completing paperwork at Sun Hill was exciting to her now.

"Good day?" she prompted.

"Nothing special really. Stevie whizzed around organising DCs and PCs to help her on a case, Grace and I had a chat about Jake, I saw Jo, and she continues to look increasingly weary being a uniform Sergeant. Max argued with Terry, Mickey played peacemaker, I tried to intervene but they all clammed up about what was wrong. How are you feeling?"

"Huge, tired, over it...you know, the usual."

"What a boring pair we are!" smiled Neil.

Millie smiled back and didn't say any more. Neil decided to it was time to discuss her living arrangements.

"Any more calls from your landlord?" he asked.

"No, thank goodness. Twice was enough for one day! Five times is enough for a week!"

"It's that constant eh? You want to know what I think?"

"Always."

"I think..." said Neil, who then paused, as if to give himself one last chance to back out of making the suggestion. "I think that perhaps you should leave your flat and come stay at my house for a while."

There. It was said. Millie's premonition of what would happen if she mentioned her problem had come true. Now to make a decision about it...

"That's... very generous of you Neil. I don't know what to say."

"It's not that generous, really. Think of the petrol money I'd be saving!"

Millie did think of this, for the first time, and was mortified. "Look if you ever want money for petrol..."

"It was a joke Millie. I most certainly don't want money for petrol. But I am very serious about my offer. And I think it makes sense for you to accept it."

"You're right, it does. But..."

"But?"

"Won't it be...awkward?"

"No."

"What about Jake?"

"He'll love it."

"Pippa?"

"She'll learn to deal with it?"

"Um, what about you and me?"

"We're fine. Aren't we?"

"Oh, of course. I didn't mean to imply anything."

"Look, I know what you mean. But I think we've passed the stage of, um contemplating anything like that, aren't we?"

Millie answered that one with a smile.

"Good. I'll load up a box or two of your packed stuff into the car tonight. Then tomorrow you ring your landlord. We'll have you settled in for Christmas!"

"Thanks Neil. This really is a weight off my mind."

"Mine too actually. I don't like to see you upset. Or hungry for that matter, which reminds me - that food should be just about ready."

"Here, let me get it..."

"No Millie, it's OK. You sit there."

"No, I need a stretch, and a visit to the toilet while I'm up. So please, you sit there and rest for a while. Or better still, take a box out to the car."

Neil's look suggested he had mutinous intentions. But then he rose up from his seat and went and did as he was told.


	11. Discovery

"Millie, are you awake?"

Jake's whisper pierced its way through to Millie's consciousness. It must be morning. It felt like she had only just got to sleep, which was probably pretty much how it was. It was so hard for her to sleep soundly these days. It was winter, and she went to bed feeling cold. Then she would wake up covered in sweat and have to remove a layer or two of clothing. Then the carpel tunnel syndrome that had appeared during her pregnancy meant that her hands were always going to sleep, so the sensation of either pins and needles or complete numbness added to her inability to settle comfortably. She was loving the superior mattress of her new bed in Neil's spare room, but she was still not managing to get more than one or two hours sleep at a time.

Jake knew she had trouble sleeping, but he would frequently forget to let it stop him going into her room to see what she was doing. He loved having Millie staying with them. Once he was awake in the morning, he was impatient for her to get up as well. Instead of continuing to wait for her to appear, he would make a cup of tea, or sometimes even breakfast, so he would have an excuse to go into her room and wake her. Neil had scolded him about doing this and he had stopped after a day or two. Today, however, he felt his waking her could be justified because Millie had an appointment at St. Hugh's that morning.

It was exactly a month until Millie's baby was due. It was also only four days until Christmas. In two days time Pippa would be whisking Jake off to the country again to spend Christmas with her and Liam's family. Jake had nagged Pippa until she asked Neil, and even Millie, to join them (her acquiescence largely due to curiosity), but Neil had declined on both their behalfs. As much as he wanted to spend Christmas with his son, spending it with his ex-wife's husband's family was more than his pride could bear, and as to bringing Millie, well, that just gave the wrong impression of their relationship entirely. Anyway, travelling was becoming increasingly difficult for Millie. Sitting cramped up in the car just aggravated her back, and such a long journey would require far too many 'comfort stops' for her squashed-up bladder. Pippa had graciously accepted his refusal of her offer, adding that it was interesting he preferred to spend Christmas alone with 'that woman' rather than in the company of his son. So the plan was now for Neil, Millie and Jake to have their own little Christmas celebration the day before Jake's departure. The idea of having two Christmases had added to Jake's excitement, which in turn made him even more reckless regarding household rules...

Millie sighed and turned around to see Jake's smiling face up close to hers. She was conscious of the fact that all she was wearing was a singlet, so she quickly grabbed the nightie that she kept handy and slipped it over her head.

"Hi Jake," Millie mumbled sleepily.

"I brought you tea," said Jake proudly.

"Thanks darling!" said Millie, affectionately patting the boy's face.

Jake shuffled his feet and blushed a little.

There were footsteps in the hallway outside and Neil's voice drifted through the door.

"Jake! You're not annoying Millie are you?" he said sternly.

"It's OK," replied Millie. "It's time I woke up anyway. And I'm decent if you want to come in."

Neil stuck his head around the door as if to double check this was the case, then walked in, glaring at his son.

"What?" said Jake defensively. "Millie says she doesn't mind!"

"Well, she would say that, wouldn't she? You didn't give her much choice!"

Millie sat up and sipped her tea and wondered how to politely ask them to leave. As much as she loved both Neil and Jake, she really didn't want them arguing in her room!

Neil caught her eye and realised they were intruding. "Come on Jake, it's time to get out of Millie's way so she can get ready."

"Can you put on some toast for me while I'm in the shower?" Millie asked Jake, hoping that giving him an assignment would soften the blow of his eviction.

"Sure thing!" said Jake, running to fulfill the task.

Neil threw his hands up in exasperation, then followed his son out.

Soon Millie was showered and dressed and sitting at the kitchen table enjoying her toast. Jake was fussing around her, making sure she had adequate supplies of everything, while Neil drank his coffee and outlined the 'family' plans for the day. He didn't have to be at Sun Hill until after lunch.

"So, Millie, your appointment's at 1030?"

Millie nodded.

"…so we want to leave here in about, say… forty-five minutes. Jake, what do you need to do to get ready?"

"I have to wrap a couple more presents, oh, and clean my teeth."

Jake was pleased with himself for remembering about his teeth, especially as it earned him a sweet smile of approval from Millie.

"You're looking forward to seeing your friends, aren't you?" asked Millie.

Jake had decided to spend the time of Millie's appointment catching up with some of the children who had been in hospital at the same time as he was, but, for various reasons, had not been allowed to go home or had had to return for further treatment. His dad had taken him shopping on the weekend to buy presents for them, and Jake could hardly contain himself at the prospect of being finally able to deliver them after a tortuous three day wait.

"You bet!" said Jake enthusiastically.

Neil looked over at his son, with both a sense of relief that he was here, home and on the road to recovery, and with a sense of concern about what would be the actual condition of Jake's friends. But, he reflected, Jake was a tough little lad, and, truth be known, was probably far better equipped at relating to people with serious illnesses than Neil himself was.

"OK, off you go then and get yourself organised. So," Neil turned his attention now to Millie, "do you need any help with anything."

"Not really, but I think I'd better start the walk to the car now, because I don't think I can make it there without frequent stops to catch my breath!"

"Lucky there's a second bathroom in between here and the front door, eh?" Neil joked.

"Oh, I'm not worried if I don't make it to the bathroom these days!" Millie said with a twinkle in her eye.

Neil hoped she was joking and gave a little smile. She didn't say anything, just quietly enjoyed the look of confusion on his face. Men were so easy to baffle when you threw in a comment about the female anatomy, especially during pregnancy!

The three of them were ready and in the car precisely forty five minutes after their breakfast discussion...

After her appointment (at which everything was reported as 'normal') Millie trudged back to the place at which she and the boys had arranged to meet. She arrived there to find Neil by himself.

"How did you go?" asked Neil.

"Fine," replied Millie, thinking that her news would be best left to another time, preferably one when she knew where Jake was. "What happened to Jake?"

"Oh, sorry, I should have said, I know how you expectant mothers worry about everything! He begged for more time with his friends, and, well, I didn't have the heart to say no. Some of them…" Neil paused but still couldn't quite find the words, "..let's just say they're not so good, so I told him we could have lunch while he stayed with them."

Millie understood completely. "Of course. Good on Jake! It makes you realise how lucky we all are that he's…"

"It does indeed," said Neil, not wanting to tempt fate by letting any more be said about Jake's condition.

"So, onwards to the cafeteria then?" said Millie.

Neil offered her his arm, and they walked down the corridor together.

Neil and Millie had got so used to the idea now of spending time in each other's company that walking through the hospital together, arm in arm, was second nature to them. Millie was too uncomfortable and Neil so concerned for her that things like watching to see who else was around no longer occurred to them.

DS Moss, DC Perkins and Sergeant Masters had all been at St. Hugh's that day, interviewing and checking the condition of a couple of victims of crime. After a seemingly pointless and drawn out morning, they were all in need of liquid refreshment. The three of them were standing together in the queue at the cafeteria buying coffee.

Terry glanced around the room, and beheld a sight that initially made him want to rub his eyes to check he was seeing straight, then perplexed him, then brought a big grin to his face at the prospect of reporting it to the two gossip-loving women either side of him.

"Oi," he said, poking one and nudging the other. "Check this out."

He gestured in the direction of a table over by the window. Stevie and Jo's jaws both dropped as they beheld the sight of their very own DI Neil Manson escorting a very pregnant woman, whom, after a few moments of searching through their memory banks, they identified as an ex-workmate of theirs: PC Millie Brown. They were astonished at the seeming ease, familiarity and, maybe even affection that was being exchanged between the two. They watched as Neil helped Millie walk towards a chair, then pull it out for her and help her lower her bulk into it.

Terry was delighted to see that for the first time ever, in his experience at least, neither Jo nor Stevie seemed able to utter a single word.

"Come on ladies," he said with a gloating smile. "Aren't we going over to say hello?"

Jo and Stevie wordless grabbed their coffees and followed Terry over to where Millie and Neil were sitting. Just as they were doing this, Neil was about to make his way over to the counter to buy something for him and Millie to eat. This time it was his turn for a jaw drop.

"Millie," he said quietly. "Stevie, Jo and Terry are here, and they're coming over."

"Oh fuck," said Millie under her breath.

Neil knew he could do little else but smile as his colleagues approached him.

"Guv," said Terry, trying hard to contain his glee. "And Millie! How are you?"

"Well, I think you can see how I am!" replied Millie, who was managing not to sound at all unfriendly, despite wishing she were a thousand miles away from these people.

"Yes, I think we can!" said Stevie, bending over to give Millie a congratulatory kiss, before placing a hand on Millie's stomach. "And hello to you, little one…ooo, it kicked! Jo, feel this!" she said excitedly.

Jo came over, planted a kiss on Millie's cheek, and put a hand on Millie's tummy. "Woo! I felt that! How much longer Millie?"

"Next month," said Millie shortly.

"Well congratulations! So, Guv, what brings you here?" asked Jo, turning her attention to Neil.

"Jake's visiting some of the kids he was in hospital with, so I was just getting Millie some lunch while I waited for him."

"I've been here today for my check up," said Millie, hoping to give the impression they had quite separate reasons for being there today.

"I see," said Terry. "Where are you stationed these days Millie?"

"Barton St. Of course I'm on leave at the moment…"

"Of course. Well Guv, you shouldn't keep a pregnant woman waiting for food, so we'll get going and leave you to it. Nice to see you Millie," said Terry, kissing her cheek.

"You too," smiled Millie.

"Best of luck with it Millie," said Jo. Another kiss.

"Thanks."

"Bring baby in to see us, won't you?" said Stevie, as she delivered her kiss.

"For sure," said Millie. _Not bloody likely _she thought to herself.

"See you after lunch," said Neil as he waved them off. He turned his attention to Millie. "You OK?"

"Oh, not really. I so didn't want this to happen!"

"Is it so terrible, Millie? None of them will think badly of you because of it…"

"Maybe not, but they're all gossips. Soon everyone at Sun Hill will have heard…"

Neil was thinking that he knew where this was heading, but he asked anyway. "Is there someone you particularly want to keep it from?"

"Yes," replied Millie. "The baby's father."


	12. The Creation of Mungo Part 1

**A/N: Have no fear, this story is still a certified Mansillie tale. This detour is simply to supply background. Of course, some of you might enjoy it (I'm looking at you MissLala!)**

Several Months Earlier...

One particular Saturday night in early May, Millie Brown was at her flat trying to find the perfect outfit for an evening on the town. Millie had recently come to the conclusion that she needed to get out there and meet new men. At Sun Hill her sex life had been all but halted due to her obsession with the inaccessible DS Carter. At Barton Street she had gone out a couple of times with some of her new colleagues, and had actually bedded two of them, but no one there had really taken her fancy. So, tonight she was on the prowl. She was headed off to a different part of town, alone, and she was determined to look her sexiest.

The air was still tinged with the last chill of winter, but Millie wanted to wear as little as she possibly could. She carefully attached a pair of sheer black stockings to her lacey suspender belt and examined the effect so far. The suspenders, the bustier, the matching panties definitely all worked together. But they were the reward rather than the bait. She needed something that made full use of the abundance of cleavage spilling out of the top of the bustier. Then she had an idea. She grabbed a chair and climbed up in front of her wardrobe to retrieve a box that was packed away on top of it. In it was a simple, scoop-neck black leather mini dress. She had bought it to wear to a theme party a few years ago, and had thought at the time it really flattered her. It did of course look completely slutty. And she wasn't even sure it would still fit. She wriggled into it. It was certainly tight, but not to the extent where it looked too small.

Millie tilted her head and examined herself closely. Could she really spend an evening out looking like this much of a trollop? She sighed and thought, _why not_? She was going to the other side of town, and it was highly unlikely she'd bump into anyone she knew. Her mind was made up. She put the finishing touches to her hair and make up and slid into her full-length coat and buttoned it up all the way down to knee level. Then she went out and hailed the first available taxi…

Max Carter always sat at the bar and had a drink after he scored. This, he might concede, was a habit. His semi-regular use of cocaine was simply something he liked to do to get him through the monotony and aggravations of his daily life. After all, he'd only been taking it for a couple of weeks. He didn't _need_ to rush off and take his coke straight away. Max's mind didn't run to analysing why sitting and slowly downing a pint, delaying gratification as it were, silenced his doubts about his recent actions. And he never asked himself why he, a supposed upholder of the law, was buying cocaine from the very people he worked every day to get off the streets.

He looked around the club with distain and felt his lip curl into sneer. He hated the low life who supplied him with his drug and he detested the losers that hung out here. His years of being a police officer had narrowed his perspective of the world so that everything fell naturally into a series of dichotomies: good/ bad, crim/ straight, legal /illegal. Max never looked closely enough at himself to realise that he was the prime example of the blurred boundaries of his own definitions.

Max continued his perusal of the inhabitants on the room, when his eyes wandered over to look at the dance floor. His attention was drawn to a shapely female figure, clad in tight black leather that was moving rhythmically along to the music. He followed the line of the zipper than ran up the side of the wearer's body, and noticed with interest that the movements were oh so gradually causing the zipper to make its way upwards. This had the effect of every now again allowing him a slowly increasing peep at the elaborate black lace of the top of a suspender stocking. It was a view that pleased him. He moved his eyes up the dancer's body, which he could only see in profile. He ran a finger around the rim of his beer glass as he appreciated the body within the dress as a whole: curve of the back, the slenderness of the waist and the pert, fullness of the bosom. He tried to catch a glimpse of the dancer's face, but it was covered by her raised arms and lost in a mass of flowing auburn hair. Max sighed. He wasn't a dancer, and he wasn't in the mood for fighting through the many admirers that seemed to be surrounding this girl. His focus returned to his beer and his hatred.

After downing two cocktails, Millie felt surprisingly at home in the smoky, sleazy bar she had chosen for her evening out. She moved around the dance floor, her confidence increasing with the number of pairs of admiring eyes she felt upon her. Several guys danced with her, others offered to buy her drinks. Millie danced and flirted and laughed. But all this gaiety was exhausting! Millie fought through the crowd to find a place to have her drink and give her stilettoed feet a rest. She pushed through to an area where there seemed to be some space. There were a few small tables surrounded by stools and a couple of free seats. She hardly noticed the man sitting alone at one of them until there was no avoiding who he was and the fact that he was looking at her.

Max and Millie had seen each other at the same time. Neither of them was pleased to spot a familiar face, though Max was impressed that Millie was the owner of the body he had been admiring not so long ago. He realised he hadn't seen Millie for a while and wondered why not.

Millie felt she had no choice but to go over and say hello to him. Max half-heartedly indicated to Millie to sit down. She felt his eyes sweep over her, taking her in, starting at her thighs and then lingering deep into the contour of her cleavage. Millie realised she'd waited a long time for Max Carter to look at her like that, and now he had finally done so, she somehow felt violated.

"So, Millie. Where have you been? On leave?"

_Like I'd have four months' worth of leave built up!_ she thought to herself. "No," she replied. "I've transferred." She didn't even bother to tell him to where. This was just going to be a quick, polite chat and that was it.

"Oh, right," replied Max, who didn't really care, but was just looking for things to say to her while he looked her over. "You been here before?"

"No. You?"

"Not really," Max lied. "What brings you here tonight?"

"Just felt like a change of scenery I guess."

"I don't think I'd come here again. What about you?"

Millie wondered why Max was trying to scare her off this place. "I don't know. It seems OK. The music's good."

"Yeah, I noticed you dance before," Max's eyes went from her eyes to her lips and back down the front of her top again. He paused, then added, "I don't think much of the crowd."

Millie rolled her eyes. This was the DS Carter she knew and was disillusioned with. She wondered if there were anywhere in the world Max would be likely to find a group of people he liked. "What's wrong with them?"

"Just look at them! All grinning moronically. They're all probably on drugs," said Max disapprovingly.

Millie hated it that he could make sweeping judgments like that. It put her in mind how he'd never given her a chance to show her true self, that all he ever saw of her was the mousey little PC who did his bidding. The alcohol and the admiration had gone to her head a bit. Why should she bite her tongue?

"Well, so what? They're young! Didn't you experiment with drugs when you were their age?"

This response was completely unexpected by Max. He'd forgotten that somewhere buried in this little PC was that bit of spirit. "No. Why? Did you?"

Millie leaned towards him defiantly, unaware that she was treating him to an even better view of her bulging breasts, "Well, I used to be in theatre groups and sing. Of course I did!" Millie didn't bother to clarify just how limited her experience actually was.

Max was intrigued, but disbelieving. "Really? What type of drugs? Injectable ones?" There was an irritating note of sarcasm in his voice.

"No, nothing like that. Just the usual, you know?"

"No, I don't. Tell me."

Millie looked across at Max and it struck her that this was the first time since they had met that he had ever seemed even slightly interested in what she was saying. She took a deep breath and continued.

"Well, most kids smoke a bit of dope, but I never really liked that. I tried to, but it just made me paranoid."

"Anything else?" prodded Max, who, Millie noted, seemed to have moved closer.

"Well, I took ecstasy at a few dance parties, speed, cocaine…"

"Speed and cocaine? When did you take them?"

_Only once each and very small amounts _Millie confessed, but only in her head. She was enjoying Max's reaction too much to be entirely honest. But at least her cocaine story sounded impressive, even if she'd just sheepishly rubbed a little of it on her gums just to get the taste of it. Mind you, it had certainly had an effect! "Well, speed for a night out and as for cocaine, well there was this musician I knew and we went back to his place and took cocaine and spent the night, you know…" Millie airily waved her hand.

Max's face seemed suddenly very close to hers. She felt his breath on her cheek. "No, I don't," he repeated. "Tell me."

Flushed with her success at finally having him in her thrall, she turned to face him and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Having wild sex. It was really great, actually," Millie turned away from Max and smilingly drifted off into her memories.

Max watched her and wondered why he had never before noticed how alluring she was. It was taking all of his self-control not to reach down to her thigh and take hold of that zipper and slide both hands up her body to peel off that tight leather dress. But he held back. He was getting an idea, but he knew he would have to tread very carefully here. She was, after all, a police officer.

"Um, Millie. I'm kind of finding it a bit stuffy in here now. Do you want to step outside with me and maybe go for a walk?"

Millie was the one whose curiosity was piqued now. But was she prepared to leave this place without having picked up some gorgeous new guy? She sighed to herself. Seeing Max had really put a stop to all her best laid plans. She may as well take advantage of having an escort to see her safely into a taxi.

"OK. I just need to collect my coat."

Max was somewhat disappointed at the way Millie's long coat covered all the parts of her he had so been admiring, but he was confident that if he played it right, he would get to see them again, if not more of her. Max held the door open for her as they stepped out together from the neon of the club into the cold, dark streets.


	13. The Father

**A/N: Just letting you know, I might have to raise the rating to 'M' after this chapter.**

**Special thanks again to firebird for help above and beyond!**

Neil didn't want to upset Millie by confessing that he already had a good idea who the father was, so he was subtle in his questioning.

"So, the father works at Sun Hill?"

Millie nodded.

"Is he in Uniform or CID?"

Millie couldn't see a point in perpetuating the mystery. "It's Max Carter."

"Oh," said Neil. So, his initial thoughts were right. He wondered why Millie had told him the baby had nothing to do with anyone at Sun Hill. Millie had lied to him.

His subdued response worried Millie. "Neil, how do you think he will react? Would he be a good father?"

Neil had two words he wanted to use in reply to her questions ('badly' and 'no'), but rather than saying them, he move closer to Millie and put his arm around her.

Seeing this reaction, Millie started to cry, "I have been so stupid!" she sobbed into Neil's shoulder.

Neil wasn't sure what he should do. "I'm supposed to go to work this afternoon, but if you're upset and want me to stay…"

"No, they're expecting you. After being seen by Terry and the girls it would just look strange if you didn't show. Thanks for the offer, but you better go."

Going into work presented Neil with a problem. "Um, what do you want me to do if I see Max and he asks me about it? I'm sure they will have mentioned that you're pregnant."

Millie thought for a moment. "Just tell him the truth. I don't expect you to lie for me."

Meanwhile, Terry, Jo and Stevie had arrived back at Sun Hill.

"Please, let me be the one to break it to Max," said Stevie, as they climbed the stairs

"Why would Max care?" asked Jo. "I know Millie had a bit of a thing for him, but was he ever interested in her?"

"Millie was kind of a pet of his, wasn't she?" said Terry. "Even if he didn't actually fancy her, I'm sure he still got off on the control he had over her."

"Yeah. Anyway, I'm curious to see his reaction," said Stevie.

"Will he be part of this briefing then?" asked Jo.

"Should be."

"I'm so glad this is a joint CID / Uniform operation!" grinned Jo.

Sure enough, Max was in the briefing room, talking to Mickey, Roger and Nate.

Stevie and co. could hardly keep straight faces.

"Where have you lot been?" asked Max as they entered.

"St. Hugh's," said Terry, calmly sitting on the desk and folding his hands in his lap. He wanted a front row seat for this show.

"And guess who were saw there?" Stevie said. She said it loudly so that even Max, who was pretending not to listen, would hear.

Nate took the bait. "Who?" he asked.

"The DI…"

"Well, well, that's hardly remarkable, seeing he has a sick son," scoffed Max.

"…and he was escorting a very heavily pregnant PC Millie Brown." Stevie sat back and waited for the fall out.

"Millie's pregnant? That's nice. She'll be a great mum," said Roger proudly. He knew that the others would soon be indulging in all sorts of sordid speculation, so this was a valiant attempt to deflect the conversation away from such musings.

"Millie? With the DI? But why?" questioned Mickey.

"Well, yeah, we did kind of wonder that too," conceded Jo.

"Woo, wait a minute!" said Nate. "You don't think Millie and the DI..."

Roger cut him short. "The DI is a gentleman. He probably recognised Millie as a familiar face, saw she needed help and then did the right thing and offered her his arm."

"Sounds like he might have offered her more than just his arm to me!" said Nate, elbowing Stevie, who, along with everyone else but Roger and Max was now laughing

"How far pregnant was she?" asked Mickey once the sniggering stopped.

"She said she was due next month," said Jo.

"Which means she would have got pregnant around…" Terry quickly did some mental arithmetic, "April or May."

"Does anyone remember when she left Sun Hill?" asked Stevie.

"Around Christmas time," said Roger, hoping the facts would put an end to their conjecture.

Max took Roger's lead. "Right, she got pregnant well after leaving here, so it's probably nothing to do with the DI. Now, shall we get back to work?" He kept his face down-turned towards the papers on the desk. He had done some mental arithmetic of his own, and was none too happy with what he'd come up with.

About forty-five minutes later, Neil Manson arrived at the office. He saw the team assembled in the room, and knew he couldn't avoid going to see what they were up to.

Once they have given him a run down, Stevie quizzed him on the subject of Millie. "It was nice of you to be helping Millie at the hospital. I didn't know you were friends?"

"I bumped into her a few times there while Jake was sick, and we sort of got into the habit of grabbing a bite to eat there together," Neil explained.

"When's her baby due?" asked Roger.

"January 21st," Neil replied automatically. On second thoughts, he realised knowing the exact date might look a bit suspicious. "I'll leave you to it," he said, pulling the door shut behind him.

A minute later, Max stood up. "I just need a word with the DI," he explained to the group before leaving the room.

Everyone exchanged looks around the table.

"Max seems a bit upset about something!" noted Stevie, raising an eyebrow.

"The plot thickens," said Jo significantly.

"Hang, on! Do you think Max is the..." said Mickey.

"It makes more sense than it being the DI," said Nate.

"I wish I was a fly on the wall in Neil's office right now," said Terry.

Roger remained silent, a look of concern descending over his face.

Neil had gone into his office and shut the door. What a morning it had been! First there was the stress of watching his son with his sick friends. Even though Jake had risen to the challenge, Neil couldn't help but worry about the effect of this on him. Then of course came his and Millie's accidental encounter with work colleagues. After many years alone, Neil was now used to the genial domestic life shared by himself, Jake and Millie. He feared the situation's becoming public knowledge might put this arrangement in jeopardy.

But undoubtably the biggest upset of the day had been Millie naming Max as the baby's father. Why it was a shock exactly, Neil couldn't say. Max had been his first guess as the father. Although Neil had concluded he himself didn't want any sort of romantic relationship with Millie, it still stung him that while she was only interested in friendship with him, she had found Max Carter appealing enough to have sex with. Why she would, Neil simply couldn't fathom. Max was, well, he wasn't a very nice guy. He was selfish, bigoted and arrogant and had ruffled the feathers of all his work colleagues, Millie included. Why on earth would she sleep with him, and why, in doing so, would she have been careless enough to get pregnant? Neil had grown to respect and depend on Millie, but perhaps he really didn't understand her at all.

Neil's thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. He knew it had to be Max. He wished he didn't have to deal with him right now, even though it was probably best to get this unpleasant business over with as soon as possible.

"Come in," said Neil, opening a file and pretending to read it.

Max walked in with a folder in his hand. Neil noted he looked a little nervous.

"Guv, can you to look over this for me?" he asked.

Neil nodded and took the folder from him. He vainly hoped the reason for Max's visit was purely work-related. Still, as much as he disliked the man, he doubted even Max could ignore the question of Millie's baby's paternity if he knew there was a chance he could be the father.

Max continued to hang around, and Neil became certain that the dreaded interview was coming. Max said nothing, so Neil resigned himself to the fact that he was going to have to be the one to initiate it.

"Anything else?" he asked Max without lifting his eyes from his paperwork.

"Stevie said Millie Brown is pregnant," Max said.

"Yes she is!" confirmed Neil.

"Are you the father?" asked Max.

This question Neil hadn't expected. He could see it was a reasonable enough assumption to make, as he had been at the hospital with Millie. Nevertheless, it was an unexpected accusation, especially in light of the knowledge of Max's paternity.

"No, I'm not," Neil replied. This time he raised his eyes from the paperwork to look directly at Max.

Max put his hand over his mouth and breathed into it. Neil couldn't work out if his answer to the question was a relief to Max or a disappointment. He waited to see what Max would do next.

After a little while, Max spoke again. "Do you know who the father is?" he asked.

Neil was almost enjoying keeping Max in suspense, and he was astonished at his own cruelty. He felt spitefully like Max was receiving his just desserts, and it was satisfying to Neil to be the one delivering them.

"Yes," was all Neil said.

Max's apprehension was rapidly giving way to rising annoyance. Just what was Manson playing at?

"Well, do you want to tell me?" asked Max, this time with a tone of anger in his voice. He rested his hands on Neil's desk and leant forward towards him, as if to challenge him.

Neil rose to the challenge, literally. He stood up and spoke. "No, I don't want to tell you. But I guess I have to. Because, as I'm sure you already know, you are the baby's father!"

Max took a step back, all the cockiness momentarily knocked out of him. His obvious stupefaction finally made Neil feel sorry for him. Here he was, having only an hour ago discovered he may be a father, having it confirmed in this deliberately hurtful manner. Neil was ashamed of himself.

Once he recovered from the shock, Max wanted to lash out. "So, just how long have you known this and not said anything to me?" he demanded.

Neil sat back down at his desk, hoping that if he appeared less confrontation, Max would follow suit.

"I only found out today," he replied.

"Oh," said Max, apparently disappointed not to have a reason to really lose his temper. "So, how is Millie? Do you know how I can get in touch with her? Do you have her address?" he asked.

Neil was reluctant to give an incendiary answer when things just seemed to be becoming civilised, but it was unavoidable. "She had to leave her flat, so she's staying with me."

This was almost more startling to Max than the confirmation that he was the baby's father. A feeling akin to jealousy started to rise up in him. He was being cuckolded!

"Are you sleeping with her then?"

Neil almost wished he didn't have to answer in the negative. Somehow he knew Max would seize on it. "No, I'm not."

Max gave a triumphant smile. "Ah! Well, sorry you're not her type, Neil." The words 'though I apparently am' were never used, but Neil heard them loud and clear.

Neil didn't retaliate, which seemed to take some of the sting out of Max's attack.

"Look, I do intend to do the right thing by her," he said.

"I'm pleased to hear it," Neil replied.

"Maybe I can take her off your hands? Maybe she'll come stay with me now?"

Neil gave a little laugh of disbelief. "Do you really think it's going to be that simple?" he said.

Max smiled again, "I can't say. But you know what? That's between Millie and me. It's nothing at all to do with you now."

Neil couldn't argue with that.

"Anyway," Max went on, "Do you have that number?"

Neil wrote it down.

Max took the paper and went to stride triumphantly out the door. Then he remembered that Neil was still his boss. "Um, if she wants to see me today, do you mind if I leave early?" he asked quietly.

Neil nodded coldly. "Go ahead."

"Thanks," said Max, pulling the door closed behind him.

Neil sat down at his desk and put his head in his hands. He needed to collect himself before ringing to warn Millie that Max was about to call.

About fifteen minutes later, Neil watched as Max grabbed his coat and walked out of the office. Neil sat holding his phone in his hand. On it was a picture he had of Jake and Millie together. He regarded it sadly. Somehow he felt what the three of them had had come to an end. Max and the baby were Millie's family now. He and Jake would just have to cope without her.

Speaking of Jake made Neil realise the boy was at the house with Millie. He didn't want Jake to witness Max and Millie's reunion. Neil grabbed his coat and keys and rushed out to his car.


	14. The Creation of Mungo Part 2

**A/N: Up goes the rating...**

Millie and Max walked along the cold streets in silence for a while. Max was deep in thought. Millie looked at him and tried to work out exactly what he was thinking. She watched as a few cabs went by, and wondered if she should be hailing them. But Max's behaviour was intriguing. She didn't want to leave before she knew what was going on.

Max was busily plotting out a plan in his head. He needed just a bit more time to put the pieces into place and to work out if he should actually go through with it. He knew that in order to keep Millie with him, they had to do more than walk together in silence, so he started to point out various landmarks along the way: the view of the river from the end of the street, the old church, a particularly good restaurant. Meanwhile, all Millie could think of to say was "Oh" or occasionally "Really?". She thought to herself that she had never realised before that Max Carter could be so boring. If it wasn't that she was so curious about what he was up to, and that he was looking particularly appealing with his windblown hair and upturned collar, she would be fleeing for the sake of her sanity.

It was getting to the stage where Millie didn't think she could keep going any longer. She was cold. She hadn't shod herself for walking tonight, and her feet were starting to ache.

Max seemed to sense her increasing discomfort and seized the opportunity. "You warm enough?" he asked.

"Getting a bit chilled actually. And as for my feet…"

"Look, my house is just down this next street? Do you want to come in and warm yourself up before calling a taxi?"

The walk invitation now made sense to Millie. She felt she should be indignant at his manipulation of her, but, at this stage, what other choice did she have but to go with him? They were off the main drag now, and she'd only have to walk further down alien streets to get back to recognisable landmarks. She didn't fancy being abandoned in the middle of an unfamiliar neighbourhood when she was underdressed and still slightly drunk. Surely she could trust Max, couldn't she? He was a police officer. It wasn't like he was a stranger to her. From their past interactions, she was flattering herself to think he'd lured her there for any reason other than he felt like company on his walk home. Wasn't she?

"Sounds good," she smiled back at him.

She was surprised when he greeted her consent with a smile and then slipped his arm around her waist.

Soon they were at Max's house and he ushered her into the sitting room. He immediately set to work establishing a roaring fire. The hotter the room, he figured, the sooner she'd take that coat off.

While Millie sat and made polite comments about the house and its décor, Max busied himself with organising a couple of glasses and a bottle of wine. He poured the wine out and offered the glass to Millie. She took it uncertainly. He picked up the other glass and raised it to make a toast.

"To surprise reunions," he said.

"Surprise reunions!" Millie repeated, as they clinked their glasses together.

Millie was nervous and drank down her wine rather quickly. She soon felt over-heated, and stood up to remove her coat. Max refilled both their glasses as she did this, watching her out of the corner of his eye. He thought she looked even more inviting in by the firelight of this room than she had at the club. He noticed with disappointment the way she pulled her skirt as low as it would go and adjusted the zipper so the dress was completely done up again. Still, this didn't completely prevent him getting the odd glimpse of the lace top of her stocking.

Max stroked the small plastic bags of cocaine in his pocket. Everything seemed to be falling into place. It was almost as if it were beyond his control...

Millie's second glass of wine didn't take much longer to disappear than the first. They were both feeling very relaxed by now. Millie sank back into the cushions of Max's sofa, increasingly unconscious of her rising hemline as she stretched out her legs in front of her. Max lay back and let his eyes travel up her shapely stocking-clad limbs from her toes to the now visible fasteners of her suspenders. They moved higher, over her leather clad curves to the slow rise and fall of the breasts that were barely being contained by the tight fabric. He looked at the tumble of her long red hair, her moist, inviting lips and those melting chocolate eyes. There was not an inch of her he wasn't now craving to touch, to kiss, to taste. She had claimed to be a bit of wild child. He wanted to test just how wild she actually was. And now was the time to do it.

Max, who was sitting on the sofa beside Millie, edged his way closer to her.

"Millie," he whispered.

Millie jumped slightly. She had been momentarily lost in her own little world. "Yes," she replied.

"I was just thinking about what you were saying before. About the drugs you tried when you were younger."

"Yeah?" Millie's alcohol-befuddled brain desperately tried to recount exactly what she had said.

"I, er, I actually have a little bit of cocaine on me…" Millie opened her mouth to say something, but he silenced her by putting a finger to her lips, "… just something I'd confiscated and never turned in. I was thinking I might try it. Do you, um, do you want to take it with me?"

It took a minute before the significance of what Max was saying penetrated through the drunken haze of her consciousness. When it did, Millie really didn't know how to respond. She didn't buy Max's story about why he had the cocaine. And she didn't believe he was simply wanting to 'try' it with her. She was sure this was all about the 'wild sex' she had mentioned she'd had the last time she took coke.

Millie cursed herself for being so boastful. What the hell had she got herself into? She had to admit she was enjoying the attention he was paying her, enjoying the fact that he seemed to be looking at her in a new light. If it had just been a matter of having sex with him, she'd probably say yes, even despite the fact she felt he'd set her up. Sleeping with Max was something she'd always wanted to do.

But what about the drugs? She was a police officer, for chrissake! They both were. Didn't he see that this was a problem? But how would Max react if she said no? There was obviously something not right with him. Everything seemed out of character with the Max she thought she knew. Could she really trust him?

Her mind was coming up with all these questions, but didn't seem to be offering her any answers.

As these thoughts went through her head, Max was anxiously watching her. He knew he was running a risk asking her. She could revert to being Little Miss Proper and make all sorts of trouble for him. But his desire, his curiosity, and, on some deeply hidden subconscious level, his loneliness, had got the better of him. He knew Millie had once admired him and he needed that right now. Even he hated himself these days. But he was a man of actions, not of thought, and he'd been waiting just a bit too long for an answer. He couldn't stand the suspense of her silence any longer.

"Millie?" he prompted. "What do you say?"

Millie saw that she was putting him on edge by delaying her answer. She was being offered a night of sex with Max Carter, one last chance to be bend the rules. How could she say no?

"Yes," she whispered back.

With visible relief, Max put an arm around her hip and pulled her in close to him.

He leant forward and got his drug paraphernalia out of the drawer in his coffee table. He took the packet out of his pocket and tapped on it to release the coke. He divided it into lines with a blade. Millie watched him and wondered if he really thought she was stupid (or drunk) enough not to notice how at ease he was with the whole ritual.

As if to complete the cliché, Max took a note from his pocket and rolled it into a cylinder. He handed it to Millie.

Millie took it from him, and hesitated.

"I, I don't want to take very much…" she said timorously.

He gently put a hand on her thigh. "You just take as much as you like," he said.

She paused again. "I've never snorted it before," she apologised.

"It's OK," he said softly, pressing his lips reassuringly to her temple.

She bent forward and took in about half a line. She put her fingers to her nostrils and sniffed. Max watched as she fell backwards on the couch. She lay back and waited to see what the coke would do to her.

Max quickly vacked up a couple of the other lines, then he moved back, remaining slightly forward so he could observe Millie. Once again he worked his eyes up from her toes and legs, over her reclining body to her face. He watched as the rush hit her, causing her to body to jerk slightly and her head to fling backwards as she sucked in her breath and gave a faint moan at that initial moment of euphoria. He found it overwhelmingly erotic. He wanted to make her do that again and again. As similar sensations started to course through his own body, he rolled himself over and pulled her against him, and within seconds their mouths were drawn hungrily together, as their hands started their eager explorations of the topography of an unknown but long desired body.

Max's fingers fulfilled their wish and took hold of that zipper and gradually worked it loose up along the length of Millie's body. The dress was cast aside and his passion was enflamed by the sight of her milky white body clad in the heavy black lace.

"I like this!" Max breathed heavily into Millie's ear.

"I was planning on getting lucky tonight," she panted back.

"I wasn't," Max said as his mouth renewed its attack on Millie's breasts while his hands undermined the bustier's containment of them. "But I think I just hit the jackpot!"

Millie felt herself falling deeper under the spell of the cocaine. With the last iota of caution she had left, she murmured, "I'm not on the pill..."

"It's OK, I'll take care of it," promised Max.

The sight and the feel of Millie's lingerie was so pleasing that Max didn't immediately divest her of them as his own clothes were shed and flung out of their way. He and Millie tumbled off the sofa and writhed around on the floor in front of the fire. Neither was really aware of the heat or the cold, just the ferocity of their need.

Millie's body was alive with intense physical sensation, but her logic and thought processes were becoming more and more confused. And she found that she was no longer worried about feeling like this. All that mattered to her was the pleasure she was experiencing and the insatiable thirst for more and more and more of it. Max started to undo the suspender belt and peel the stockings from her legs. After much grappling by both Max and Millie, the hooks of the bustier were undone and it was thrown to the floor. The feeling of Max's hands sliding under her pants to guide them over her hips brought gasps of anticipation to her lips.

Max was feeling reckless and impatient. All he wanted now was to get inside her. He fumbled with the condom for a little while, but either the drug or urgency of his lust for her made him clumsy. He told himself it was just too difficult to think about. She didn't really seem to care any more either. He told himself that her desire was just as overpowering as his. Everything would be fine. He would utter her more reassurances later if she needed them. Max threw the unopened condom packet onto the floor without her even noticing. He wasn't really into thinking of consequences anymore. He was invincible. He pulled her towards him and soon she was wrapped around him and their bodies moved and melted together, as they transported each other towards the exquisite, deliriousness of what (unbeknownst to either of them) was to be an especially fateful climax.


	15. The Parents

Max knocked at the door of the DI's house then stood back and admired the building. So this was what a DI's salary could buy! Max had an idea that Neil's wife's family were rich, so the house was probably more than just a monument to the fruits of Neil's labour. Nevertheless, the DI was obviously doing quite well for himself.

Max's focus on the DI's wealth was a welcome change to him from the preoccupations consuming his mind as he drove over from Sun Hill. It was hard not to be preoccupied when you were on your way to meet the mother of your child with whom you'd shared one single, drug-induced night, and had only been briefly in phone contact with once since. How would she receive him? Would she be angry at him? He was pretty sure she would be if he told her the pregnancy was his fault because he had basically just been too out of it to put on a condom. He wasn't going to bring this particular topic up, he decided, even though he had considered that perhaps taking responsibility could be a good way of currying favour with her. Women seemed to regard the whole 'honesty' bit highly.

On a more superficial level, he wondered how pregnancy might have changed Millie physically. He remembered the pleasures her lithe, taut body had afforded him the night of their union. What if pregnancy had made her unattractive? What would he do then? Not that he was considering a relationship with her, at this stage anyway. He felt he should at least offer financial support, but beyond that he had no idea what he was supposed to do.

Looming behind all these other worries was the knowledge that his mother was going to kill him when she found out.…

His incessant thoughts were driving him mad. Maybe he shouldn't have done that couple of lines before he'd come here.

Max had turned around to check out the other just as impressive houses in the street when the door opened. He looked, expecting to see Millie standing there, but instead was greeted by a somewhat surly looking young boy. This must be Manson's kid. Max knew he had been very sick, and not being an altogether heartless man, he smiled at Jake and spoke in a friendly manner.

"You must be Jake," he said holding out a hand. Jake refused to take it. "OK, um, I'm actually here to see Millie. Is she there?"

"Who are you exactly?" asked Jake suspiciously. He continued to hold the door half-closed.

"Jake! Is that someone at the door?"

Max was relieved to recognise the voice as Millie's. A moment later, Millie appeared behind Jake and pulled the door fully open. She looked over Jake's head at Max and smiled shyly.

"Sorry about that," she said. "Jake didn't know who you were. Come in."

"I still don't know who he is," muttered Jake, as Max squeezed through the door past him.

"This is Max. He works with your dad," explained Millie patiently.

"Why's he visiting you then?" Jake said under his breath. Millie didn't hear him.

"Take a seat Max, I'll just make us a drink. Tea or coffee?"

"Coffee thanks," Max wasn't as worried now. Millie seemed friendly and, he was very pleased to see, although she was twice the size she was when he last saw her, she looked radiant and just as pretty as ever. He was feeling more comfortable about things with her. This kid however…

Jake positioned himself on the couch opposite Max. He folded his arms and put on his best glare.

Max didn't quite know how to take the lad, so he tried again to make conversation.

"So, you live in Spain hey?"

Jake frowned at him. "I used to, but now I live with Dad."

From what Max had heard around the office, this just wasn't true. He wondered what Jake's problem was.

"Really?" said Max skeptically.

Jake repeated stubbornly, "I live here with Dad and Millie. We all like it like that."

Millie entered the room with a jug of milk and the sugar. She caught half of what Jake was saying.

"Jake," she said sternly, "You know perfectly well I'm only here for a month." She rolled her eyes at Max as if to say "Kids!" She put the jug and sugar bowl down on the table and left the room again.

Jake refolded his arms and continued to treat Max to the evil eye. Max had had enough. The kid was a hostile witness as far as he was concerned.

"Haven't you got some dolls you can go play with?" hissed Max, checking quickly over his shoulder to make sure Millie didn't hear him.

"I just want to know why you're here!" retorted Jake angrily, keeping his voice low for the same reason.

"I'm here to see Millie. She's a special friend of mine," Max had figured out that Jake was jealous of him, even if he wasn't sure if was for his own or his father's sake. Either way, Max was going to make the most of it.

"Millie belongs here with me and Dad! And when Mungo comes…"

"Who the hell is Mungo?" said Max in bewilderment, just as Millie entered the room.

Both Max and Jake fell back into their chairs and smiled at her.

Millie place the cup in front of Max and sat herself down beside him. She got the impression something was up. Maybe it was time for Jake to leave.

"Jake, darling," said Millie gently. "I need to talk to Max alone. Can you go to your room for a while?"

"Are you sure you'll be OK?" asked Jake protectively.

"I'll be fine. Max is a policeman, remember," smiled Millie.

Jake was putty in Millie's hands once she smiled at him. He got and left the room, accidentally knocking Max's foot with his own on the way.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"No problem," said Max, glaring back at him. Max turned his attention to Millie. With one final triumphant glance towards Jake, he took her hand in his.

"Well," he said uneasily. "Look at you!"

"A bit of a change from the last time you saw me," replied an embarrassed Millie, who flushed bright red when her close proximity to Max caused her to recall a couple of details of the last time she was this close to him.

"I'm sure you'll fit into that little dress again," said Max. Certain feelings were stirred within him by the memory of how she looked that night. Without thinking, he started to move a finger caressingly over the back of her hand. "Anyway, you still look beautiful."

The blush that had just started to fade from Millie's face returned with a vengeance. After all the bad things she had been thinking about Max all these months, why was it he could still do this to her?

"Thanks," she murmured in response.

The way they were interacting put Max more at ease. At least she wasn't regarding him as the enemy.

He thought he'd clear up something that had occurred to him when he heard about the pregnancy. "So Millie, that time you rang me after… that night, you were going to tell me you were pregnant, weren't you?"

Ah, yes, the phone call. Millie had just discovered she was pregnant and decided Max had a right to know. After several failed attempts to dial his number, she punched it in one more time and gritted her teeth and forced herself to wait for an answer. Max has seemed friendly and even happy to hear from her. It would have all been OK if Millie hadn't heard a woman giggling in the background. Millie concluded (not wrongly as it turned out) that Max was trying out the seduction technique that had worked so well on her on someone else. She quickly made up a story about having lost an earring and wondering if she'd left it there. Max had said no. But he had added that he'd love to see her again and she could call him anytime. Millie took the fact that he could say this to her while he had another woman there as a sign he wasn't ready to settle down. He certainly wasn't ready for fatherhood. She'd thanked him and hung up and decided for everyone's sakes she was going to leave it at that.

Millie answered his question. "Yes. You sounded busy, and then I lost my nerve. I didn't know what you'd think."

"Hard to say exactly, but most likely the same as I'm thinking now. I'm shocked! I can't imagine how you've coped with this alone over all these months."

Millie said nothing._ I haven't been alone. I've had Neil, _she thought to herself.

Max added nobly, "But now, you know, you don't have to do it by yourself. I'll do whatever you want me to about this."

_Really?_ _Whatever I want?_ Millie wondered if he really believed that. She didn't. "Thanks Max, I appreciate it. I'm not sure what I want you to do."

Max realised he had expected Millie to provide him with instant answers. He didn't know what to say.

Millie looked at him and it struck her that he had changed physically since their night together. He looked older somehow and his body wasn't quite as imposing as she remembered it to be. The notion that something about him had changed had hit her as soon as she had laid eyes on him, but she had initially put it down to insecurity about dealing with a woman he'd accidentally knocked up. Now she knew there had to be more to it than just that.

"You're still using coke, aren't you?" she asked softly.

Max sighed. He needed to gain Millie's trust if he were to have anything to do with this child, and even though he hadn't quite decided what he'd like his involvement to be, it was best to keep his options open. What could he say?

"Why would you think that?" he asked.

"I'm trained to spot the signs, remember!"

Max felt her eyes looking searchingly into his. It felt like she was seeing right through him. His mother looked at him that same way. Max wondered if this was a sixth sense women were granted when they got pregnant. "OK, yes, but not often" he admitted half-truthfully. "You haven't said anything about that to Neil, by the way, have you?" he added.

"Good Lord no! It would mean both our jobs!" Millie's voice was almost a whisper. She looked over her shoulder before she added, "I did it too, remember?"

"OK, just thought I'd check." Max was reassured at being reminded that he had just as much on her as she had on him. "It's our secret, then."

Millie nodded. To end the ensuing pause in conversation, Max broached a new topic

"Who's Mungo by the way?"

"Mungo?" Millie laughed, the lighter subject matter making her feel less uncomfortable. "Did Jake mention Mungo?'

"Yes. Is it a dog or something?"

"It's the baby."

Max face adopted a look of horror. "You're not calling the baby that are you?" he asked. He hoped he'd have some power of veto when it came to names, especially if this was an indication of her tastes.

"No!" Millie laughed. "It's just a name Jake made up for the baby. I didn't like calling it 'it' all the time."

"You don't know its sex?"

"Well, yes, I do. But it didn't feel right sharing it." _Until this moment_, she thought. Here she was face to face with the only other person she felt had the right to know. "Would you like me to tell you?"

Max wasn't sure. Giving it a gender might make this fatherhood thing a bit too real. But now he was curious. "Yes," he answered.

Millie's eyes shone with excitement as she confided the secret dearest to her heart. "It's a boy," she whispered.

Max's own eyes soon bore a suspicious gleam. "A boy, hey," he repeated. That was just what he would have asked for. A son of his own. Max couldn't help but think "In your face, Jake!" because the latter obviously didn't know. But did his father?

"Does Neil Manson know?" he asked.

Millie was indignant. "No!" she said. "That's no one's business but the baby's parents! I haven't told anyone else."

Knowing she'd kept this information for him alone really hit home with Max. He was genuinely touched. He pulled her towards him and hugged her tight. She found herself returning the hug. She closed her eyes and felt an intimacy she had sensed was lacking throughout her pregnancy. No one but the baby's father could truly share the joy of her new baby with her.

At this moment, Neil Manson appeared in the doorway to the room. He stopped dead in his tracks. Max looked up at him over Millie's head and grinned.

There was something about the smile that made Neil feel kind of stupid and superfluous.

"Neil," Max nodded.

Millie hadn't heard Neil approach, and his presence startled her. The last thing she wanted was to offend or hurt him. She freed herself from Max's arms and, with Max's reluctant help, pulled herself to her feet. She made her way over to Neil.

Neil didn't look at her.

"I'm just here to get Jake. I thought he might get in your hair," explained Neil.

"Indeed," agreed Max. "That's one angry kid there,"

"He has just been very sick, Max," Millie said sternly.

"Of course, sorry," Max muttered.

"Well, I'll get Jake and then he and I best be off," said Neil.

He backed out of the room without another word, pulling the door closed behind him. He walked down to Jake's room and knocked on the door.

"Come on Jake, get your coat. We're going out for a while."

"Do you think we should Dad? Don't you think we should protect Millie?"

"I'm sure Millie can take care of herself," sighed Neil. "Now you get ready and I'll meet you by the door."

Jake called after him as he left. "I don't want to lose her Dad."

Neil smiled faintly at his son's words. Then he said under his breath, "I suspect we already have."


	16. Sizing Up the Enemy

"So Dad, who was that joker?" asked Jake when he and Neil were safely alone in the car.

Neil chuckled to himself. Jake had definitely got that one from Liam! He pulled a straight face to make it clear that Jake should pay his elders due respect. "That, Jake, was Detective Sergeant Max Carter, who works with me and used to work with Millie at Sun Hill."

"He said he was a special friend of Millie's. What did he mean by that?"

Neil set his mouth. So, Max had been being deliberately controversial hey? Nice. Well, there was no way he could get out of breaking this piece of news to Jake now. "What he meant was, he's Mungo's father."

"What? That tosser!" said Jake incredulously.

Neil had to once again hide a smile. The kid sure recognised a spade when he saw one!

"Jake! Where do you learn words like that?"

Jake looked impatiently at his father. Who cared about how he learnt words when Millie's future with them was at stake?

"Dad! You're missing the point! This is about Millie and Mungo! We have to stop her doing something stupid!" he protested.

Neil really wished he were as young and idealistic as his son. If only he could just stop Millie from seeing Max and therefore prevent the strengthening of what Neil already believed to be a bad association for her. He took a deep breath before answering. "To be honest, I don't much like Max either. But we have to accept there's nothing we can do about it. It's Millie's decision how she will include Max in her and Mungo's lives…"

"But Dad, you know she's pregnant and not thinking straight! How many times has she told us that! We have to save her from herself…"

Neil put a hand on his son's shoulder. "It's not that simple. One thing I've learnt from being your dad is that you can't control everything someone does. Sometimes, you have to let people make their own mistakes…"

"So you agree she's making a mistake?"

"OK, maybe I phrased that badly. What I'm saying is that even if we think someone's making a mistake, we often can't stop them. And think about it. If we were to tell Millie what to do, she might get angry with us and not want to talk to us any more. Is that what you want?"

Jake thought for a moment. "No…but it's not just Millie who's at risk, it's Mungo as well. I don't think Max would be any good with children."

Neil ruffled Jake's hair. "Few new fathers, or new mothers for that matter, are. Parenthood is something you learn. And anyway, there aren't many people who could confidently call themselves good parents."

"That's not true! What about you? You're a good dad, and you've only had me to practise on!"

Neil was conscious of a lump forming in his throat. Christmas was still four days away, but he didn't think any present would top those few words from Jake. Never, in his wildest dreams had he ever expected his son to even think he was a good father.

Again he put his hand on his son's head. "I'm glad you think so. Anyway, you never know. Fatherhood could be the making of Max."

Jake frowned and said no more. His father could foolishly pin his hopes on Max's changing, but Jake really doubted anyone could transform that much. Anyway, the problem wasn't just that Max was no good as a father. Max's arrival on the scene meant that Jake's ideas for his own and Mungo's futures were likely to be derailed.

Neil looked over at his silent, pensive son. "So, can you amuse yourself while I get a few things done at the office?" he asked.

Jake thought about how he could occupy himself at Sun Hill. After all, there were friendly people there he was sure could tell him a thing or two about this Max Carter. That Stevie, for instance. She always seemed very approachable.

"Sure Dad. You won't even notice I'm there," he replied.

Neil couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something about his son's reassurances that troubled him…

Jake's arrival with his father at Sun Hill station caused quite a commotion. People who had met him before commented on how much he'd grown, those who hadn't told him how well he looked. Jake smiled and accepted the head patting and kisses without complaint. He needed to gain their trust. He was there on a mission.

Jake and Neil made their way upstairs to CID to Neil's office.

"So, what are you going to do?" he asked. "Play on the computer?"

Jake was about to answer when the phone rang. While Neil took the call Jake peered through the venetians at the CID team. He had mixed feelings when he realised Max Carter was not among them. On the positive side, this meant he could talk to the other detectives without fear of being overheard. On the negative, this could mean that Max was still at their place, alone with Millie. Jake didn't want to think about what they could be getting up to.

As he looked through the blinds, Stevie raised her head and caught his eye. Jake returned the smile she gave him.

"We're being watched," she said to Mickey and Terry.

The two men looked up and saw Jake waving at them through the blinds.

"You know," said Stevie. "I bet that boy's full of information about Millie and his dad."

"Take it easy, Stevie!" said Mickey. "The kid was virtually at death's door!"

"You never know, maybe he's worried about it. Maybe he needs to talk," Stevie suggested.

"Maybe he does," agreed Terry. "But I bet not even you would be game enough to go to the DI's office and request his son's company."

"No, I guess not," conceded Stevie. "But all of you, keep waving. We might be able to tempt him out if we work together."

Terry and Mickey shook their heads.

Jake caught his father's eye and indicated he was going out to talk to Stevie and co. Neil raised a hand to stop him, but Jake was already half-way out the door. Neil sighed and let him go. After all, he did have work to get done before he and Jake could go home. Surely nothing bad would come of Jake's wandering for a little while, and anyway, a little socialising might get the lad's mind off worrying about Millie.

"Well, look at this…" said Stevie to the boys as she caught sight of Jake on his way over to them. She jumped up and grabbed Max's chair and offered it to Jake.

"Hey Jake! Take a seat. How's it going?" she said brightly.

"Good thanks," Jake grinned. He liked Stevie. She always seemed interested in what he had to say.

He sat in the chair surrounded by Stevie, Mickey and Terry. He thought he'd wait for someone else to continue the conversation, namely Stevie. She was looking like she was on the verge of saying something, and he wanted to hear what it was.

"So!" said Stevie eventually. "Are you looking forward to Christmas?"

"I sure am," said Jake.

"What are you doing for it?" asked Terry.

"Well, I'll be spending the actual day with Mum and Liam's family in the country. But Dad, Millie and I are having our Christmas together tomorrow."

Gossip-loving Stevie had to restrain herself from rubbing her hands together with glee at Jake's response.

"So Millie's going to come over then?" clarified Stevie.

"Millie lives with us," responded Jake. He didn't see any reason to keep this secret. Maybe Max would be scared off if everyone knew about his dad and Miilie.

Terry looked over at Stevie and savoured the joy of having witnessed her being rendered speechless for a second time in their acquaintance. He reflected he could get used to it...

"Does she? What's that like?" said Mickey, seeing that no one else was going to speak.

"It's great!" agreed Jake heartily. "Millie's very good at looking after me and dad. And she needs looking after too of course," he added.

"Of course," agreed a smiling Stevie, who had only just regained the power of speech. She was kicking herself that she couldn't think of more questions to ask Jake about this while she had the chance.

Jake seemed to be in the mood for talking.

"So anyway," he said solemnly. "What can you tell me about DS Carter?"

A troubled expression came over Terry, and he looked towards Mickey. They had a story or two they could tell about Max…

"Why do you ask, Jake?" queried Terry .

"He was at our place today," said Jake. "And I didn't think much of him."

Mickey replied, "Well, Max can come across as a..."

"Bully?" completed Jake.

"But he's not so bad, really," said Stevie, patting Jake's leg reassuringly. "So, why was Max visiting you?"

"He wasn't visiting ME," replied Jake in disgust. "He came to see Millie."

Terry looked at Stevie, who sat open-mouthed but silent. He ticked off a third time.

"Well that's understandable. Millie and Max did used to work together," said Mickey in an attempt to steer the conversation back to safe territory.

"Did you hear what they were talking about?" asked Stevie, before she received a none-too-gentle elbow to the ribs from Terry.

"I do not eavesdrop," retorted Jake with dignity. "But I like Millie and I don't want to see her hurt. Max said he was her friend, but there is something about him I don't trust. So, you know him. Is he a nice guy?"

"Um, he can be..." started Stevie, who was interrupted at that point by someone coming through the door.

At that moment, Max walked into the office. He was curious when saw everyone congregated together, but understood once he saw Jake.

"Hello," he said in mock-friendliness. "Come to watch Daddy at work hey?"

Jake said nothing.

"Sorry Max, Jake's using your chair," said Stevie.

Jake started to get up to return the chair to its rightful owner, but Max waved a hand to stop it.

"Nuh, nuh, nuh, you keep it. It seems a fair exchange. A little bit of give, a little bit of take, you know what I mean ," said Max with a smile.

Jake did know what he meant: Max was boasting that he was going to take Millie away from Jake and Neil. Jake looked beyond Max to his father, who had come in after Max and was standing behind him.

Max was unaware of Neil's presence until he heard a voice behind him say calmly but with authority, "Max. My office. Now."

Max rolled his eyes and turned around to follow Neil into his office. Jake rose to go with them, but Terry pulled him back.

"It's police business, Jake. Nothing you need to hear," he said guiding Jake back to his chair.

The three officers and Jake all looked in the direction of Neil's office, where they could see a very animated conversation being conducted behind the slats of the venetian blinds. Occasionally a raised voice was heard, but what it was saying was unintelligible. No one was in any doubt, however, that DI Manson was making it very clear that he would never, ever let anyone get away with deliberately taunting his son.


	17. Tenterhooks

After an admonished Max had swept in silent fury out of Neil's office, down the stairs and out of Sun Hill station, Neil sat at his desk and put his head in his hands. Boy, he had really let Max have it! Max deserved it of course, deliberately tormenting poor Jake like that! What sort of man was it who could taunt a sick boy? But Neil had to ask himself if he had been more severe than necessary because it had been his own son that Max had been bullying. As Neil examined his motivations further, it occurred to him that perhaps some of his anger had come from his earlier showdown with Max regarding Millie. Both of their encounters on that topic had ended with Max carrying off the victory. Maybe his determination to get his own back on Max had intensified his fury, possibly taking it to an entirely unnecessary level?

Neil's analysis of his reactions was disturbed by a knock on his door. Stevie entered.

"Just thought I'd let you know Terry took Jake to get some food in the canteen," she said. Then she added softly. "You all right, Guv?"

"I'm fine Stevie. Thanks," Neil replied, managing to maintain a facade of rationality and control.

Stevie continued, "Look, um, from what Jake has said, I think I have some idea what's going on," she paused here to check Neil's reaction, but his expression was unchanged. "Max was horrible to Jake, no doubt about it, and you're right to be angry, but Mickey and Terry have given me the impression there's more to Max's mood than just his characteristic unpleasantness."

This did roused Neil's interest. "How do you mean?"

"Well, they won't tell me any details, but let's just say neither of them was surprised by Max's attitude."

"I see. Well, thanks for letting me know Stevie," Neil's eyes returned to his desk to indicate he wanted to end the conversation.

Stevie saw he was giving her a hint, but she wasn't quite finished yet. "Look Guv, I take it that Max is the father of Millie's child. I just wanted to say I hope this doesn't ruin things between you and Millie…"

"I'll stop you there, Stevie," said Neil. "I do appreciate your concern, but the only thing between me and Millie is friendship, and that's all either of us want. Now, as far as you and I go, this subject is closed."

Neil hadn't raised his voice at her, but Stevie knew there was no use pushing him further. "Guv," she said quietly and left the room.

"_I hope this doesn't ruin things between you and Millie"_ When Stevie had left, Neil found her words ringing in his ears. It was a a silly thing to say, he thought. Of course it would. Neil knew that if Max were going to be a main part of Millie's life, he and Jake would have to step back. Telling Max off had gone part of the way towards relieving his anger, but he was still furious. Jake had been through enough these past several months without being bullied, and there was no way he was exposing Jake to that kind of treatment again.

He looked over at the pile of papers on his desk. He hadn't done half the things he'd intended to do here today, but he really should be getting Jake home. He sighed. He couldn't come back again tomorrow, because that was Jake's Christmas with him. He might just have to come in Christmas Eve. It would only be him and Millie at home that day. Up until Max's visit to his house, the prospect of a day with Millie had been something Neil looked forward to. Now the thought being alone with her made him uncomfortable. Why was this exactly? He knew it was ridiculous be afraid to face her alone. But alone they would be free to talk openly. Neil's lips twitched as realised what it was he was scared of. He didn't want to hear her say those words. He didn't want her to tell him she was leaving.

But maybe this talk would never come to be. Maybe she would have left to live with Max by then?

The plan had never been for Millie to stay beyond the birth of her baby, but Neil had got used to the idea of having her around for at least that long. They had arranged their Christmas with Jake together. They had made tentative plans for a quiet Christmas evening at home consuming leftovers once Millie had fulfilled her family obligations for the day. Neil had always hated going out to celebrate New Year's Eve, and Millie's confinement had given him the perfect excuse to plan a quiet night at home with her, maybe watching a movie. But if Millie and Max had resolved things this afternoon when they met, all this would be lost. He had to ask himself why this affected him so much? He didn't want Millie's love, and he certainly wasn't in competition with Max for it. He didn't want to be a father to her child. But seeing Max holding her today had made him feel like...like a fool; there was no other way of putting it. When Max had looked up at him it was like he was crowing 'See. I've won her back. She never was yours at all'. Max's silent declaration of his victory may have been made from a completely mistaken assumption about Neil's feelings for Millie, but it did hit the heart of the whole matter. Neil was afraid that the friendship he treasured so much was nothing more than Millie taking advantage of him because the man she really wanted couldn't offer her the security she needed.

And he couldn't deny that he thought less of her for falling for Max. He didn't want to be the one to tell her it was a mistake to trust him.

Neil saw Jake coming up the stairs with Terry, and he knew he couldn't put if off any longer. It was time to go home and face Millie.

Millie sat alone in the sitting room at the Manson house, wondering when Neil and Jake would be returning. On the table in front of her was a box of Christmas decorations. Their plan had been for Neil to spend the afternoon at work while she and Jake sorted through the baubles and tinsel in preparation for the ritual 'family' decoration of the tree. Now, Millie had absolutely no idea when they would be returning, and didn't feel she comfortable ringing Neil to ask. Who'd have guessed this morning when Neil had sat with Millie and Jake at the breakfast table to plan out their day, that the day would end like this? Millie sighed as she thought of the contrast between the happiness of them all being gathered at breakfast with the feeling of isolation she had right now.

She kept replaying Neil's response to seeing her hugging Max in her mind. In true Neil form, he'd done his best to keep a neutral expression, but the initial shock of finding them like that, then his desire to flee the scene as quickly as possible, indicated to her that what he had seen had embarrassed and maybe even hurt him.

She should never have agreed to see Max in Neil's house. There was always the likelihood of either Neil or Jake getting caught up in it. Still, she hadn't anticipated Max's provocative behaviour. The smug look he gave Neil as he hugged her, the snippets she had caught of his baiting of poor Jake; neither of these she had anticipated. The Max of a year ago had a lot of faults, but she had never thought of him as cruel. Self-centred, certainly. Hurtful in a careless sort of way, yes, but to deliberately provoke a child – a seriously ill one at that – that she hadn't expected at all.

The problem of Max didn't just end there. He clearly wanted to be involved in some way with the baby. At the time they had slept together, Millie might have had fewer misgivings about letting him play a prominent part in Mungo's upbringing. Admittedly, she would have worried about how responsible he would be, but now he was not just unreliable, but drug dependent as well. To have undergone as much change as Max had in the few months since she had seen him, he must be forking out a hell of lot of money for that habit! Millie sighed. She had desired Max for such a long time but now she finally had an excuse to keep him in her life, he was showing himself to be a liability.

Millie set herself to blocking the issue of Max from her mind. There would definitely be things for them to discuss together in the future, but for the moment they could wait. Of far greater concern to Millie was what would happen when Neil and Jake returned. Would they be upset with her? She could understand it they were. But from her perspective, Max's arrival on the scene was no threat to them at all.

Just then, Millie heard the sound of keys turning in the front door lock, and soon Jake had run excitedly into the sitting room. He rushed over to the box of decorations on the table. He checked to see everything was as he left it.

"Good, I was afraid you might have sorted through them without me," he said to Millie.

"As if!" said Millie, who was greatly relieved to see that Jake at least was holding nothing against her. "Where would be the fun in that?"

The two of them opened the box and started to sort through its contents. Jake took out some lights and twisted all the little globes into place before plugging them in to test. Millie grabbed a knotted bundle of tinsel and sat herself down to untangle it and wind it into more manageable skeins.

Jake noted that something was slightly amiss in this scene (apart of course from the glaringly obvious fact that Neil had not come in to say hello to Millie). He soon realised what it was.

"We need music!" he said, sprinting down to his room, where, earlier that day, he had been (secretly) listening to Christmas cd he and his father had played every Christmas they spent together. In his absence Millie hummed to herself as she continued with her tinsel unraveling.

She heard footsteps coming through the door and knew straight away they were too slow to match the enthusiasm of Jake. She raised her head and looked up to see Neil. He nodded and made his way over to the table in the guise of focusing his attention on the decorations.

"How was your day?" he asked Millie casually.

Millie judged this was not the time for anything too deep and meaningful, so she answered lightheartedly. "Well, I've had less dramatic days, that's for sure."

"Indeed. I think we all have," agreed Neil.

He and Millie both raised their heads and caught each other's eye. This was followed by a smile. From this they both concluded that perhaps they had spent their day worrying over nothing. Perhaps their friendship hadn't been irretrievably damaged by Max Carter after all.

The sound of thudding down the hallway signified the return of Jake to the fold. On entering the room and seeing both adults in it looking quite content Jake was filled with happiness.

Once the cd was in the player and the strains of 'Hark the Herald Angels Sing' filled the room, Jake's perfect Christmas tableau was just about complete...until the phone rang.

A still smiling Neil went to answer it. Of course it was Max, as he told Millie when he handed her the phone. All three inhabitants of the room suddenly lost their cheer.

Millie got up and took the phone into the kitchen. She wasn't gone for long. She cast a glance at both Neil and Jake, and noticed the latter looking fearful and the former slightly angry. She went back to untangling her decorations in silence.

It was Jake who tried to defrost the situation by turning the attention to more positive things.

"So, what are our plans then for dinner tomorrow?" he asked.

Without looking up, Neil said frostily, "I don't know. Maybe Millie won't be with us by then." As soon as the words were out he regretted them. He knew he was talking out of spite and fear. But he couldn't take them back now.

Millie eyes seemed to brim up immediately. "Do you want me to leave?" she asked quietly.

"I just thought you might be moving in with Max," said Neil, who once he had begun to dig this grave seemed compelled to complete it.

Millie stood up. So, now she needed to find somewhere to stay for a few weeks. Perhaps she could give Roger a call? He had a spare room and she was sure he would help out in an emergency. "I can pack my bags and be out tomorrow then," she said, and left the room.

Neil didn't think there could be many things more heartbreaking than the look Millie gave him as she walked out. Until he compare the pain in her eyes to the penetrating stare of complete hatred he sensed emanating from his son.


	18. The Peacemaker

Neil looked at his son, who was still staring at him with what looked remarkably like contempt.

"I know," he said. "I shouldn't have said that!"

Jake's lips were trembling. "It's not bad enough Max tries to take her from us, you have to push her towards him!" he exclaimed.

Neil moved closer to his son and extended a hand to touch him. Jake snatched his arm away angrily.

"Leave me alone! You've stuffed it up! You always stuff up everything for me! First you drove Mum away, now you're driving Millie off too! All I wanted…" Jake paused for a moment to find his voice again, "All I wanted was to have a real family! A father, a mother and a little brother or sister!"

Jake threw himself down on the couch and sobbed. Neil sat beside him and tried to put his arms around him.

Standing up, Jake shook himself angrily out of his father's embrace. "Get off me!" he yelled. He stormed off out of the room and into the passageway.

Neil decided there was little else he could do other than let the boy go and cool down. Poor kid must be overwrought - after seeing his sick friends, being taunted by Max, and now this unpleasantness - all in the one day. And Neil knew the responsibility for most of Jake's hurt lay squarely at his door. He'd let Jake become attached to Millie and he'd been the one who'd put Jake in Max's path. Neil felt he'd really outdone himself this time. Not everyone could completely alienate the other occupants of his house within the space of ten minutes.

Jake entered his room and slammed the door behind him. He could taste his hot, angry tears as they streamed down his face. He caught the image of himself in the mirror and he felt like such a baby. And the shame this evoked in him just made him feel all the more miserable.

There was a gentle knock at the door.

"Go away!" Jake yelled in response.

"It's me, Millie, Jake," came Millie's soft voice. "Please let me come in."

Jake wasn't angry at Millie. He smeared his hands over his eyes and nose in an effort to make himself look slightly less like the great big sook he felt he was at that moment. Checking in the mirror and seeing these efforts had failed, he threw himself face down on the bed.

"Come in," he replied, his voice slightly muffled by the pillows.

Millie opened the door and came and sat on the bed beside him. Wordlessly, she ran her fingers soothingly through his hair. She didn't want to force him to talk, but rather intended to sit beside him in case he wanted to unburden himself to her.

Jake appreciated her calming strokes, and her silence. _Just like a Mum should be_, he thought to himself. Thinking this, however, only reminded him that his dream of her becoming his official second Mum was becoming less and less likely to become a reality.

Millie became aware of a renewed sobbing sound. She leant over him and kissed his hair.

"It's OK," she whispered.

Jake wanted to stay there, lying with his face down and indulge in having Millie comfort him. But he knew that time was of the essence. He couldn't go away for Christmas and leave the situation here how it currently stood. Millie and his dad had to be made to see reason. Perhaps he could talk Millie into staying and things could be back to normal before it was too late for them to decorate the tree tonight?

He raised his head and rolled over to face Millie.

"Dad doesn't want you to leave - I know he doesn't!" Jake saw Millie was about to say something and quickly went on, "He's just a bit useless sometimes. He really likes you, you know, but rather than tell you, he'll do something stupid to push you away. He's just like that!" Jake added as if to imply that he too had fallen victim to Neil's defensiveness.

"Jake, darling," Millie said, "Don't be angry with your father on my account. He hasn't driven me away. If anything, this is all my fault for letting your dad speak to Max before I did. But I hope you know that I'm always going to be your friend, even if I can't live here any more."

Jake looked at her, his face wet and red from his tears. "Promise?" he said.

"I promise," said Millie, who found her arms were welcome where Neil's were not. She held Jake as she patted and kissed his head.

"I promise," continued Millie, "that I will always be your friend, and your dad's friend too."

Jake lay himself back down on the bed, resting his chin on his hands. He felt happier now, but there was something he still needed to check.

"So," Jake asked nervously. "Are you going to move in with Max?"

Millie reflected it was nice to be asked this directly, rather than conclusions being jumped to.

"No, I'm not," she said firmly.

Jake breathed a sigh of relief. "So why did Dad say you were?" he asked.

"I'm not sure," she replied. But her bet was on Max having said something along those lines to Neil.

"But you said you were leaving tomorrow. Where were you going if you weren't going to Max's?"

"I have no idea. But I thought if your dad wanted me to leave, it would be better if I went as soon as possible."

Jake shook his head. Gee, his dad was a bigger idiot than he thought! And Millie… well, he was beginning to think she was just as bad. It was becoming clear to Jake that these two didn't really need Max to ruin things between them. They were doing a very good job of it by themselves.

"I think I'll get up now," said Jake.

Millie moved out of his way so he could swing his legs around to the floor to stand.

Jake grabbed Millie's hand. "I'm going back to see Dad," he explained. "And you're coming with me!"

Jake started to make his way out of the room and down the hall, with a bemused Millie in tow. She was thinking that perhaps this kid was smarter than both of them put together! She was rather pleased to have him as an advocate.

Neil was sitting alone on the couch in deep contemplation when he looked up to see Jake entering the room, dragging Millie behind him. He felt a sense of instant relief when he saw that Millie seemed to be smiling.

"So, are either of you talking to me?" he asked sheepishly.

Jake took charge of the situation and once again silenced Millie just as she was about to speak. He marched her over to the couch to where his father sat and commanded her to sit down beside him.

Casting a perplexed but slightly amused look at Neil, Millie obeyed.

"Right," said Jake, kneeling on the floor between the two adults. "We need to straighten a few things out. Millie, are you thinking of going to live with Max?"

"No," said Millie. She looked again to Neil, and saw his lip was twitching. It felt good to share a joke with Neil again.

"Dad, do you want Millie to go stay somewhere else?"

"No," replied Neil, adopting a solemn look for his son's benefit.

"So what was all that rubbish about before then?" demanded Jake.

"I think it was largely me making assumptions," Neil responded. As he continued he looked up at Millie and grabbed her hand. "Max rubbed me up the wrong way today, and I guess I just overreacted. I'm sorry Millie."

Jake smiled and turned to Millie. He gestured to her that she should make a similar statement of contrition.

There was a twinkle of amusement that danced between Millie laughing eyes and Neil's. Putting on her best straight face, Millie said, "I should never have put you and Jake in the position of having to deal with my problems with Max. I'm sorry Neil, and I'm sorry to you too, Jake."

Jake jumped up and clapped his hands together. "See how easy that was? Now, Dad, give Millie a kiss…"

Neil hesitated and opened his mouth to protest, but he could see that Jake would be satisfied by nothing less than compliance. So he leant forward and kissed Millie on the cheek.

Millie grinned at him and turned to Jake, knowing her turn was next.

Sure enough: "Now Millie, you kiss Dad," Jake ordered.

By this stage, Millie was finding it hard to stop herself from giggling, but she obeyed Jake without hesitation and kissed Neil softly on the cheek.

Jake beamed and put his arms around both of them.

"Now, I think we have a tree to decorate!" he said triumphantly. "I'll go put the music on." Jake ran over and fiddled with the cd player.

Millie and Neil remained on the couch. They looked at each other and laughed.

"Out of the mouths of babes, eh?" quoted Neil.

"You have a smart boy there!"

"A very sensible lad," boasted Neil.

"Must get it from his mother!" teased Millie.

Neil gave her a sideways glance. "I know I deserved that," he conceded.

"Perhaps," Millie agreed. "Neil," she went on, "Do you think you and I should have a proper talk about things later, you know, to clear the air."

"I do," said Neil. "How about after Jake's in bed?"

"Good thinking."

Millie reached out an arm and placed it on Neil's shoulder. He obligingly placed a hand under the said arm to help her heave herself off the couch.

"Now, Dad," she said as she stood up. "We've been given a job to do, so we'd…"

"…better get to it?" completed Neil.

"Exactly," said Millie, as Jake returned to the room.

Soon the three of them were laughing and singing as they worked together to prepare their 'family' festivities. Millie sat at the couch surrounded by tinsel, checking each of the baubles had hooks to hang them and straightening the halo on the angel for the top of the tree. She hummed contentedly along to the carols. She smiled at the sight of Neil helping his son complete the testing of the Christmas lights. The serious look on Jake's face when he gave his dad the 'thumbs up' as Neil flicked the light switch was priceless!

Millie got up from the couch and stood between her 'boys' and placed a hand on each of their shoulders.

"Shall we?" she asked.

"Yeah!" said Jake. He started to drape the lights around the tree. Millie and Neil collected the other decorations and the three of them set to work adorning the tree. Millie picked up the angel and handed it to Jake, who climbed on a chair and carefully placed it on top of the tree.

"How's that?" he asked as he got off the chair and took a step or two back to admire his handwork. He looked over at Neil and at Millie and eagerly awaited their assessment.

Millie gestured to Neil that he could offer the verdict. Neil slipped an arm around Millie's shoulder as they both craned theirs neck and examined the tree from top to bottom.

"Perfect," Neil said eventually. "It's just perfect."

Jake looked at Neil and Millie, standing side by side, united, and felt that he couldn't agree more.


	19. The Night Before Early Xmas

All the excitement of the day had taken its toll on Jake and it was a lot easier getting him off to bed than Neil had anticipated. Both he and Millie went with Jake to his room, to tuck him in and give him a goodnight kiss (from Millie) and a loving pat on the forehead (from Neil). Neil soon left in a hurry once he remembered he had put milk on the stove to make himself and Millie hot chocolate to sustain them through their 'chat'. While he wiped the scorched milk off the stovetop, Millie sat a while longer at Jake's bedside.

Jake was happy overall with the way the day had ended but there were still one or two things playing on his mind. Now that he and Millie were alone he seized the opportunity to try to get answers to the questions that troubled him the most.

"Millie," Jake said, grabbing her hand as she went to lift herself off the edge of his bed where she had been sitting. "Do you love Max?"

Millie was surprised to be asked this question, but she had no qualms at all about being completely honest with her response.

"No," she replied. "I don't."

"Did you love him once?" Jake asked.

This question was harder to answer. If she were to be honest again, the answer would be no, but she knew then that Jake would ask her how Mungo came to be if this were the case. And somehow it didn't feel right to tell Jake her child was the result of drug-fueled, loveless sex. Millie was sure 'I did it because it felt good' was not an adage Neil would want her to be passing on to his son.

Millie worded her answer carefully; "I thought I did. But then I guess whatever I felt for him just ended."

"A bit like my mum and dad?" suggested Jake.

"I suppose…" said Millie slowly. "Though I'd say Max and I never felt as much love as your mum and dad felt for each other. Never enough to want to create a home together."

"Poor Mungo," said Jake reaching his hand out and patting Millie's stomach. "My mum and dad split up, but at least I have some memories of what it was like to have them together. Mungo will never have that."

Millie bit her lip. She hadn't thought about it like that before. Jake, the wise boy, had given her a new perspective on the situation. It put her in mind of what Neil had quoted earlier: "Out of the mouths of babes…"

Jake could see what he had said had affected Millie. Perhaps it was a good time to make his pitch?

"My dad's a good dad, you know," he said.

"I know," agreed Millie. "I've been watching him with you for several months now."

"He was very involved when I was a baby too. He changed nappies, and bathed me."

"Good for him!" Millie had some idea where this was heading.

"I'm sure he can help you with Mungo. And I can too."

"I'd appreciate that! Thanks." Millie ruffled the front of Jake's hair.

"So…" said Jake, coming at last to the point of his little spiel. "…if you are looking for someone to raise Mungo with…"

By this stage, Neil had made his way back down the passage and, unbeknownst to Millie or Jake, was standing listening at the door. He had initially wanted to interrupt and prevent Jake saying anything that would make the already tenuous situation between him and Millie any more uncomfortable. But now his curiosity had got the better of him. He wanted to hear what Millie had to say next.

"Ah!" said Millie, realising it was time to bring Jake down gently. "But you see, I'm not."

Jake was puzzled. "Not what?"

"Not looking for someone to raise Mungo with."

"But it's hard work! You can't do it on your own!" insisted Jake.

"But I won't be!" said Millie. "I'll have my family, and my good friends, like you and your dad, to support me."

Jake looked at Millie suspiciously. "What about Max?" he asked frowning.

Millie sighed. "Well, seeing as he's Mungo's father, he will have some part to play too."

Jake's frown grew deeper. "I suppose you'll end up falling in love with him again and you won't have time for me and dad."

Millie rolled her eyes. "Things would have to change an awful lot for that to happen! And as I promised you before, I will always have time for you and your dad."

"Well then, wouldn't it be simpler for you and dad to raise…"

"Jake!" Millie cut in. "You know, I love your dad dearly. And in some ways it would be nice to have someone there all the time to raise Mungo with. But the thing is, I just want to be alone with my baby."

"You're not just saying that so that Dad gets out of your way so you can go off with Max?" Jake asked distrustfully.

"Definitely not!" asserted Millie. "Don't you know your dad means so much more to me than Max?"

Neil smiled to himself in the hallway. His turn to be smug now. He almost wished he'd recorded what Millie had said so he could replay it to Max. He gloated for a moment before accepting it was probably time to do the decent thing and let Millie know he was there. He went into the room.

"Now Jake, isn't it time you went to sleep? I arranged especially for Father Christmas to visit here tonight for our early Christmas you know, and he won't leave you anything if you're not asleep!"

Jake rolled his eyes and gave his dad an incredulous look. Did Dad really think he still believed in Father Christmas? And if he did, did he have to mention it in front of Millie?

"Oh, Dad..." he started to say

Millie put a hand on her belly and a finger up to her lips . "Shhh!" she whispered to Jake. "Don't say anything while Mungo's listening. We have to pretend to believe in Father Christmas for a good few years yet for his sake. And possibly your dad's as well," Millie added quietly into Jake's ear.

"You wouldn't dismiss his existence so lightly if you had to clean up after his reindeer every Christmas like I do!" joked Neil. He was still riding high on Millie's admission of her fondness for him and was inspired to be jovial.

Jake resigned himself that he had to humour both Neil and Mungo for the time being at least. "All right, I'll go to sleep now. Have a nice time, you two," he smiled, "and enjoy your hot chocolate!"

Neil and Millie did their best to ignore the undertones of Jake's words as Neil returned to the kitchen and Millie went (via the bathroom) to wait for him in the sitting room. As she sat herself down she reflected that she hoped this would be the last deep and meaningful for the day. She really didn't feel she had the emotional strength to cope with any more.

Neil brought the hot chocolate in and handed Millie her cup. She took a long sip and wallowed in its calming effect.

Neil took a sip of his own drink, and asked in a manner he hoped sounded casual, "So, what did Max want when he rang before?"

Millie knew this question was going to be asked and had told herself she must not get defensive when she answered it. "Believe it or not, he invited me to spend Christmas with his family; to introduce me to his mother, that kind of thing."

"Oh," said Neil, wondering what exactly it meant that Max wanted to introduce Millie to his family. "He's taking things seriously then?"

"In relation to the baby, yes, I think he is. Though I must say I got the impression his mother might have been standing beside him with a rolling pin in her hand when he asked me!"

Neil snorted in amusement. "I can picture that actually. It makes me happy." He paused. "Sorry Millie, I shouldn't let my personal problems with Max enter into it. So, what did you tell him?"

"I told him I had other plans, and that perhaps his mother could come to the hospital after the baby's born. After all, her relationship will be with Mungo, not with me."

Neil thought from his own experience that Millie was being a bit naive believing she wouldn't have to form some sort of relationship with her child's paternal grandparents, but he reasoned she'd learn soon enough. He left the subject at that. It wasn't Millie's relationship with Mungo's grandmother that concerned him most.

"Millie, if you don't mind me saying, you don't really seem that fond of Max."

Millie considered this. "In many ways, no I'm not."

"So how did this all happen? Were you in love with him when, you know..?"

"No, I wasn't. To put it bluntly, we had a one night stand. It was a mistake. We were both…intoxicated, and it never went beyond that."

"So you never named Max for the simple reason you didn't want any more to do with him? You were afraid of him finding out?"

Millie mulled over his words. "Hmm, maybe it wasn't quite that simple. I can see now my biggest fear was knowing for certain that the baby wouldn't matter to him."

"Bit of a shock then that he wants to be involved?"

"I'll say! I suppose I should be happy about it."

"I don't think there are any hard and fast rules for this type of thing, Millie. I just thought seeing him might have made you reconsider your feelings."

Millie wondered if Neil were saying all this because he had seen her and Max hugging.

"It made me aware that apart from the basic bond of sharing a child, there's nothing between him and me. And, you know, I don't think there will ever be."

This news was a relief to Neil. Not just because it meant he and Jake might still be able to see Millie, but for Millie's own sake. Neil couldn't shake the feeling that Max was trouble.

"Anyway, how did your discussion go today?"

Millie searched for the appropriate word to describe it. "It was...civil," she said eventually.

"Civil?" repeated Neil_. _Millie's choice of word irritated him somehow. He remembered Max's behaviour towards Jake today, and he was annoyed that Millie seemed to be letting Max off just a bit too lightly. "Well, I just wish he'd been as courteous to my son!" he muttered.

Neil, as usual, did a good job of appearing calm, but Millie sensed there was more to this than she knew. "I could see Max was provoking Jake a bit while they were both here. Don't tell me it's worse than that!"

As much as Neil didn't want to rock the boat at this point in time, he simply had to get his anger at Max off his chest, if only for the sake of Millie being shown exactly what kind of man she was dealing with.

"In CID today, Max taunted Jake in front of everyone, saying that he was going to steal you away from him."

Millie was aghast. After all, Jake wouldn't have been exposed to Max if not for her. This explained Neil's snipe about her moving out with Max before.

"Neil, I had no idea he went that far! I hope that you don't think I condone Max's behaviour to Jake do you?"

"I would be very surprised, and disappointed, if you did!" responded Neil. "I won't pretend I'm not really annoyed about this."

Millie hung her head and said quietly, "You have every right to be annoyed with me, Neil. Neither you nor Jake should have been dragged into this. I should have seen Max somewhere away from the two of you. I'm sorry."

Neil heard her apology, but found that it didn't settle his bad feelings like he had expected it to. She was right that she shouldn't have dragged Jake or him into it. But when he considered the possibility of her going off somewhere alone with Max for that discussion, he knew this would have been just as distressing for him. He couldn't deny that part of him liked being in the middle of this situation; acting, as it were, as Max and Millie's go-between. This way he could exercise some control over the situation, maybe even keep Millie from doing something he'd regret. He thought about how he had placed himself in the position of being the one to tell Max that he was the father of Millie's baby. True, Millie had told him to be honest if Max asked him, but she didn't actually say that Neil should tell all. He could have got away with just saying to Max that he should speak to Millie rather than delivering the news. Neil asked himself why he had jumped in there, and his reason was because he was worried that Millie might get hurt (or, worse still, swept of her feet) in the process of dealing with Max herself. Neil wanted to protect her, and this apparently included vetting her boyfriends. Maybe this was why, when push came to shove, he had never been able to act to make their relationship anything other than platonic. The way he treated Millie was almost the way a father might treat his daughter.

Neil glanced over at Millie and saw that she was looking utterly exhausted by all the excitement of the day. He really didn't want to add to her burden by making her feel she was responsible for Max's behaviour towards Jake. After all, like the little trooper he was, Jake had coped with it and apparently harboured no ill feelings towards Millie at all. Poor Millie, she was so close to her due date, she had so much more to be worried about apart from the finer feelings of Jake or himself.

He put a comradely arm around Millie's shoulder and pulled her towards him.

"Don't worry about it Millie. Max is Max, and the way he acts is beyond your control. Stevie kind of implied that there was some issue with him at the moment - God knows what - that might be adding to his bad temper. We will just have to keep an eye on the way he and Jake interact in the future."

A watery-eyed Millie lifted her sleepy head off Neil's shoulder. "Thanks for being so understanding, Neil. I really don't deserve you."

Neil looked back at her. "I think you've done your bit for me and for Jake, so don't you worry. Anyway, it's late and you're tired. Remember what I said to Jake about Father Christmas? The same goes for you, you know."

Millie laughed. "Well, I'd best be off to bed then! I don't want to miss out on my presents, or make you miss out on any by default!"

"No, I certainly don't want to miss out on my annual five pairs of socks! Now, you go off to bed. I'll tidy up here."

The two of them stood up. Millie was greatly relieved they'd got through this difficult day with their friendship in tact.

"Good night Neil, and thank you, yet again, for putting up with me!"

She put a hand on his arm and moved forward to give him a good night kiss. Neil moved towards her at the same time with the same purpose in mind. As a consequence, instead of their kisses touching the other's aimed-for cheek, they found their lips meeting. The resulting kiss was affectionate but short-lived, ending as soon as each of them realised what had happened.

They moved apart and both looked awkward.

"Well," said Neil eventually. "We finally got that out of the way. Now we never have to worry about what it would be like again."

"Thank God!" replied Millie, giving Neil's hand a final squeeze before she turned away and made her way off to her bedroom alone.


	20. The Mansillie Christmas

**A/N: This story has worked out to be a lot longer than I intended! This chapter is a quick filler before the main final one and a brief epilogue. I hope you're finding it interesting enough to hang on until the end...**

Jake didn't know whose room to go to first the next morning. He knew it would be more appropriate for him to start the day by annoying his father, but then he expected the reception from Millie to be the more welcoming of the two. He decided that rather than make a choice he would try making a bit of noise and see which adult responded first.

His first stop once he'd ventured out into the main part of the house was the Christmas tree. He turned the lights on and then paused to admire the effect. They had really done a good job with the tree this year - Millie's input for sure. Girls were so much better at that kind of thing!

The next thing he did was rummage through the presents underneath the tree. He sorted them into rough piles: Mungo's, Millie's, Dad/ Neil's, and his own. The pile that held the most interest to him was of course his own. He picked up each of the parcels and gave them a bit of a feel or shake to try to work out what they contained. His curiosity largely satisfied, he quickly looked over the presents for other people. He spotted his own to Mungo. It was a mobile to hang over his crib. Dad said Mungo would love it, but Jake wasn't so sure. It didn't strike him as a particularly interesting gift. He had higher hopes for success with the present he had bought for Millie. Dad had been very moved by his choice, to the point of kissing his son on the forehead in the store. Jake had been embarrassed at the time, but he took Dad's unusual reaction as a good sign.

He came to the present he had bought for his dad. Same as last year, same as every year. Jake couldn't fathom why Dad would be pleased with such a gift, but his chuffed reaction each time persuaded Jake it was worth sticking to the formula. This year Millie had suggested he add a little something else to his gift, which Jake had done, but he was nevertheless pleased to have the usual present to fall back on if Dad didn't approve of this wild experimentation.

Millie heard the sound of Jake getting up and walking to the bathroom and wondered if Neil were up also. She hoped he hadn't read anything into their inadvertent kiss last night. At the time, he hadn't seemed to. But once she was alone in her room, she had half-feared Neil might knock on her door in the middle of the night to either discuss what had happened or even perhaps try to take things further. Thankfully that didn't occur. Millie would have dearly loved to remain in her room, safe from the prospect of an uncomfortable 'morning after' encounter with Neil, but both her back and her bladder were telling her to get up NOW. She sighed in resignation as she reached across for her dressing gown and put it and then her slippers on before walking to her door and making her way to the bathroom.

Alone in his room, Neil became aware that someone was moving around the house and listened intently for some clue to whether it was Jake or Millie. Neil couldn't believe that he and Millie had actually kissed. It amused him that after all the care they'd taken not to lead each other on or give off the wrong impression, fate had brought their lips together so unintentionally. Neil wondered if perhaps Jake had left some mistletoe secreted somewhere in the room and it had worked its magic.

Whatever the cause, Neil knew it was time to face the music. Jake had to be given his presents, if he wasn't out there opening them already. Then there was their Christmas dinner to prepare. Neil concluded that the best plan of attack was to act as if nothing had happened, and with that thought he opened his door and prepared himself for whatever challenges the day presented.

Jake was getting impatient. How much longer could Dad and Millie sleep in? he asked himself. Maybe it was time he turned the cd on?

Millie padded her way down the corridor in her slippers and timed her passing of Neil's room perfectly with his opening his door. Each looked a little warily at the other, and neither quite knew what to say.

"Good morning," said Neil after a few moments. "Sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you. You?"

"Like a log,"

"Pleased to hear it," replied Millie.

They stood in silence for a few seconds, until Millie became aware that Neil was making some sort of muffled sound. She looked at him and saw that he was trying to hide the fact that he was laughing!

A smile broke across Millie's face as well.

"If you don't shut up," she said pretending to scold him, "I will accidentally kiss you again!"

"Dear God, anything but that!" Neil raised a hand to his forehead in camp mock-horror.

"What are you two up to?" came Jake's voice as he stuck his head around the doorpost. "There are presents waiting to be opened!"

The two adults obeyed and followed Jake to the Christmas tree. Neil brought over a chair for Millie to sit on, while he and Jake sat cross-legged on the floor.

"Right," said Neil, who in accordance with their family tradition, was the official present-distributor. "First present is from, oh look - it's from Jake to Dad!"

Neil smiled across at his son as he tore the paper from the soft parcel. No surprise what was in here.

"Look at that! Socks! One, two, three, four, five pairs! How thoughtful of you, Jake. Thank you!"

Millie regarded the look of pride on Jake's face at this dad's pleased reaction with amusement. Neil may poke fun at Jake's predictable choice of gift, but Millie could see it was a ritual that meant the world to both of them.

"Moving right along, Jake gave a present, so it's his turn to receive one. So here's one for Jake from Millie." Jake gleefully opened what he had already guessed to be a handheld game.

The rest of the presents were distributed in the same egalitarian fashion. The last present was Jake's to Millie.

Jake watched eagerly as Millie tore the paper to reveal the present he had chosen for her. When she saw what it was, she had tears in her eyes. It was a baby book in which to record the landmark events of Mungo's first year.

Millie beckoned Jake to her and he knelt before her chair as she hugged and kissed him.

"I chose it myself, you know," Jake muttered proudly.

"It's just what I wanted!" said Millie hugging him closer. Placing her hand on his cheek, she added, "Even if Mungo turns out to be a boy, you know you'll always have your special place in my heart, don't you?"

"Thanks Millie," said Jake as he hugged her fiercely back.

Neil watched the scene and almost wished he could have presented Millie to Jake as his stepmother. Not for his own sake, but for the boy's.

Soon the present giving was complete and the wrapping paper was gathered up and put into the recycling. Jake played with his new toys while Neil and Millie finalised Christmas dinner.

Millie carefully laid the table with all the trimmings: holly, crackers, bowls of nuts, a tacky mini-Christmas tree as the centrepiece. Millie had even unpacked a set of her own matching crockery to serve the dinner on. She nodded to herself in satisfaction at the look white china and green holly leaves against the red of the tablecloth. Even if Neil and Jake didn't care how the table looked, somehow the sight filled her with contentment.

Neil started to bring out the various components of their Christmas fare, including the rather large turkey. Jake was summoned to the table and they all sat down together. This was one of the few occasions when Neil insisted on saying grace before they ate, and once this formality was fulfilled, he and Millie set to work distributing the meal. Millie stood over the platter that contained the turkey, which Neil had already carved.

"Here you go, Jake, here's the drumstick you wanted," said Millie.

As she was serving it up, the phone rang.

"It's probably Mum!" said Jake, racing away from the table to get the phone.

Neil made a face, which Millie intuited to mean that he suspected Pippa had chosen to ring now because she knew it was dinner time.

"I'm sure he'll be back soon. And, if it's any comfort, I've got a lovely, plump breast here for you, Neil," said Millie innocently.

She held out her hand to take Neil's plate, not realising what she had said until she met Neil's eyes. They were twinkling with laughter.

It was the second time that day that Neil had greeted some potentially uncomfortable situation with laughter rather than awkwardness. It occurred to Millie that perhaps their accidental kiss had broken down the last bit of hope (or fear) Neil had about their relationship ever becoming more than friendship. And as a consequence, it seemed Neil was now completely at ease being playful and flirtatious with her. And Millie felt free to be playful and flirtatious back.

Her own eyes gleamed across the table at Neil as she added, "Perhaps you're more of a leg man?"

Neil winked. "No thanks Millie, it's breast all the way with me. Especially one that looks that good!"

He was clearly enjoying both their lighthearted teasing, and the delectable look of the turkey she had put on his plate, and decided to perpetuate the game. He looked at the assortment of dishes in front of him and debated what to offer next. He contemplated offering her a handful of nuts, but decided against it. Double checking Jake was no where in earshot, he picked one of the dishes up and offered it to Millie.

"Perhaps you want stuffing, Millie?" he deadpanned.

Millie spluttered as she nearly choked on her turkey. She tut-tutted Neil, who winked at her again. As foot steps heralded Jake's return, Millie placed her napkin in front of her as if wiping the corners on her mouth, and both she and Neil had completely regained their composure by the time he sat himself down.

The three of them made their way through the main meal. Then there was brandy-soaked Christmas pudding, which Neil carried ceremoniously out of the kitchen in a ball of dancing blue flames. It was clear that to Neil, Christmas was all about custom, and after the pudding always came the Christmas crackers, the paper hats and the telling of bad Christmas cracker jokes. Over the years, Jake had begun to find this silly rituals harder to take. After all, it wasn't as if he were a little kid anymore. Was Dad deliberately trying to make him look stupid in front of Millie?

Neil wasn't going to release his son from what he saw as his festive obligations easily. He held up his Christmas cracker to Jake, and paused there, waiting for his son to take the other end. Jake half glanced up at him, rolled his eyes, and pretended not to see him. Neil continued to hold the cracker out to him, Jake continued to ignore him.

In the end Jake lost patience with his father.

"Millie," he said in exasperation. "Dad wants someone to pull his cracker for him. Can you do it?"

Neil and Millie's eyes met, and the pair of them burst into laughter. They laughed so heartily that Jake was overcome with curiosity as to what he was missing out on.

"What are you two carrying on about?" he asked.

"Sorry, Jake, the moment's passed. We were just sharing a joke," replied his father, wiping a tear of laughter from his eye.

Jake didn't quite like being excluded, but seeing his dad and Millie getting on so well and behaving undeniably fond of each other more than made up for that. Perhaps a boy could still hope…


	21. Prelude to a Birth

Millie work up in the night knowing something was about to happen. Telling herself not to panic, she got out of bed and moved tentatively towards the bathroom. She had just stepped into the room and shut the door behind her when she felt a wetness flowing down her legs to her feet.

Fearing her baby was about to come tumbling out, she clenched her knees together before grabbing a couple of towels to throw on the floor to soak up her mess. She hobbled towards the toilet, sat, and thought about what to do next.

_Oh my God_, she thought, talking deep breaths to quell her rising panic. _The moment's finally come. Now, what do I do? I can't do this alone! Please, please let Neil have heard me get up and be on his way to see what's wrong!_

Fortunately, Jake had heard Millie get up and was lying in bed listening for the sound of her return. It didn't happen. He was soon up and knocking on her bathroom door.

"Millie!" he said. "You OK?"

"Jake," said Millie, breathing an immense sigh of relief. "Can you get your father?"

Jake raced to his father's room.

Ever since Millie's due date, which was a week ago, Neil had spent the majority of each night awake, ready for that dash to the hospital. As fate would have it, this was the first night his exhausted body had surrendered readily to sleep. He was deep under when Jake came into his room and poked him sharply in the ribs.

"Dad, you awake?"

"Hmph, wha..?" Neil sprang to a sitting position. "What is it?"

"Millie. She's in the bathroom and she asked me to get you."

Neil bounded out of bed and ran down the hall.

"Millie! Where are you? Can I open the door?"

Millie was using the closed toilet as a seat and was sitting there with a towel between her legs.

"Come in, but be careful you don't slip on the floor," she warned shakily.

Neil tiptoed across the room, steeping over the pile of towels on the floor. He saw Millie sitting there forlornly, shivering . He couldn't tell if she were shivering from cold or nerves.

He put an arm around her and spoke soothingly. "So, where are we? Any contractions?"

Millie rubbed her bloated belly and nodded. "I think this is it. It's like everything's moving downwards."

"OK," said Neil, "I'll ring the hospital and see what they think. Can you make it back to your bed for the minute?"

"I think I'd rather stay here," said Millie, who was simply too afraid to move.

Neil didn't like leaving her in the cold bathroom, but he could see she wouldn't budge unless she really had to.

"Have you got clothes ready to wear to the hospital?"

Millie nodded stiffly.

"Well perhaps Jake can bring them to you while I ring the hospital and put your bag in the car. OK?"

"OK," said Millie.

Jake heard his father and went straight to Millie's room to get her clothes.

"Do you need anything else?" he asked when he returned.

"Yes, my phone. I should ring Max now."

"Do you really need to …" Jake started to say.

"Yes I do. Max wants to be there for the birth, so we have to let him know," said Millie firmly. No one was more surprised than Millie at Max's eagerness to be involved with his child, even to extent of being present at its birth. It impressed her so much she agreed he could be there. Besides, the idea of having the baby alone was getting more and more frightening, and as much as she would have appreciated Neil's calming presence there, it seemed improper. She wasn't as close to Max as she was to Neil, but at least Max was already acquainted with the bits of her likely to feature in the evening's events.

Millie listened to the phone ring and prayed that she would find Max home alone. She dreaded interrupting him while he was with some floozy, who would most likely presume she was the desperate ex trying to trap him. But then again, with the amount of drugs Max was apparently taking, Millie would have been surprised if he were still capable of having a sex life anyway! She was relieved when a sleeping and solitary Max answered the phone and promised to meet her at the hospital as quickly as he could get ready.

Once Neil and Jake had managed to prise Millie's fingers from the toilet seat and convince her it was safe - and probably wise - for her to move, the three of them drove to St. Hugh's. Poor Jake felt completely overwhelmed and helpless about what was happening to Millie, but he was determined to keep his feelings to himself. He showed not a trace of hesitation when his father asked him if it were all right for him to sit alone with Millie for a while. While Neil went off to find someone to organise Millie's admission, Jake sat mutely beside Millie, holding her hand.

Jake heard footsteps, looked up and felt a sense of relief. Who'd have thought the sight of Max Carter approaching him would ever be a welcome one?

As he walked towards them, Max was feeling just as helpless as Jake, but unlike Jake, Max's nervousness was written all over his face. All he could think of was to kneel on the floor in front of Millie and hold her. Her response indicated to him that his instincts in this case were entirely correct. He was beginning to think he had more natural paternal ability than he knew...

"It's OK, Millie, I'm here now," he said, oblivious to the rolling of Jake's eyes as he said this. "Does it… does it hurt?"

Without raising her head, which was pressed into Max's shoulder, Millie nodded and let out a little sob. Despite her misgivings about Max, Millie felt herself surrendering to the security and sanctuary offered by Max's strong, muscular embrace.

Max was relieved that Millie seemed to be responding to his attempts to calm her. He started to stroke her hair. When he felt her body convulse in what could only be a contraction, he held her tighter and whispered reassuringly in her ear.

Jake wished his father would return. He wasn't enjoying seeing that Max was doing a better job right now at relating to Millie than he was.

Neil returned and was just as irritated as his son by the ease with which Max seemed to be keeping Millie pacified. He acknowledged Max, then bent down and put an arm around Millie.

"OK, they have a birthing suite ready for you Millie, so once they bring us a wheelchair, we'll take you there," he said gently.

"Are you going to be hanging around?" asked Max, making it clear he felt he and no one else had the right to share this with Millie.

"No, Jake and I won't stay for the birth," said Neil. "I'm not sure what we'll do…"

"I was thinking Dad, perhaps I could visit my friends? There are some of the night staff I haven't seen for a while."

"Good idea," said Neil. He didn't want to leave the hospital, but had been at a loss to think of what to do with Jake. This was the perfect solution.

"And what about you?" Max gruffly asked Neil.

"I don't know, I'll drink coffee, sit in the waiting room, I guess."

Millie looked up from Max's shoulder and held out a hand to Neil. Her dear friend Neil. "Just like an old-time father, hey?" she said, smiling weakly at him.

Max looked at her reproachfully. "Except the baby already has a father. And he only needs one."

Before Millie could reassure or offend anyone by responding, another contraction hit her. Neil wondered if Max calling the baby 'he' was significant.

Soon they were on their way to the maternity ward. The midwife looked at Millie's entourage and asked, "Now, how many of you are staying for the birth?"

"Just me. I'm the father," said Max importantly.

Neil was thinking if Max made that point again, he was going to hit him.

"Right then, if everyone else can leave the room for a moment, I'm just going to see how far along we are."

After a few minutes Neil and Jake were asked to return.

"Well," announced the midwife, "Babies can be unpredictable, and I think we'll be a little while yet, but we're far enough along for Millie to stay put. Now, Millie, I'll just leave you with your friends and be back soon." She left the room.

"Hey, I might just go find a loo," said Max, who seemed edgy.

Millie knew what he was getting at, and although she didn't want to believe he would even dream of snorting coke at the birth of his child, she wasn't really surprised. "There's one attached to this suite, why don't you just use that?" she asked sweetly.

Max knew he'd been caught out, but didn't let it stop him. "Nah, it's OK, that's yours and you might need it. I won't be long." He turned and walked out without another word.

Neil wondered briefly why Max seemed so keen to get away, but put it down to first-time-father nerves. At least it gave him and Jake a chance to sit with Millie.

"Max seems to be handling this better than I expected," Neil said. "Up until now at least," he added dryly.

"He isn't all bad you know," commented Millie defensively, even though she was the one most in need of convincing of Max's worth at that moment. _Snorting coke at the birth of his own child!_

"I know. Sorry, I'm doing it again."

Millie brushed it aside, "Don't worry about it. So Jake, how are you feeling?" Aside from Jake acting as a diversion for her thoughts from Max, she was genuinely worrying he was getting left out.

"I'm OK. I can't wait to meet Mungo!" Jake enthused, clasping Millie's outstretched hand in his own.

"Have you worked out a real name yet?" asked Neil.

"No, Max and I still discussing it. I decided he can have a say, but I will make the final decision. Having said that, he pooh-poohed my suggestions of 'Neil' or 'Jake'," joked Millie.

Neil's eyes twinkled back at her. "I can't imagine why. Mind you, Neil is not a name I'd inflict on a child."

Millie was going to respond when another contraction hit her.

"I think they're getting closer together," observed Neil.

Millie puffed and placed a hand either side of her tummy. "I agree. And they seem to be more intense too."

"Right, here comes Max. Jake, maybe it's time to go visit your friends."

Jake engulfed Millie in one last hug and left the room. He knew the hospital corridors pretty well, and made his way confidently to the children's ward. He stopped and chatted to a nurse who accosted him on the way.

Max re-entered the room, appearing even more wired than before. Millie saw it and frowned in disapproval and disappointment. A part of her had hoped she'd jumped to the wrong conclusion about what he was doing.

Neil noticed it too. He had never hidden the fact there was no love lost between him and Max, but he did feel a degree of sympathy for Max in this situation. The frown on Millie's face when Max returned didn't escape his notice either. For Millie's sake if not for Max's, he had to do something to calm Max down.

The nurse entered the room and while she fussed around Millie, Neil grabbed Max by the arm and pulled him aside.

"Look, Max, if you feel at any time tonight you need to step outside or something, you know, to get some fresh air, I can come back and sit with Millie."

Max wouldn't trust Neil's altruism at the best of times, let alone when he was coked up. He shook Neil's hand angrily from his arm and hissed, "I think you've forgotten yet again who this baby's father is! It's me! This night has nothing to do with you, and I'm not about to let you sneak in and take over!"

Millie and the nurse looked over at Max and Neil, and even though they couldn't hear what was being said, it was obvious the discussion was heated.

Neil gave the nurse and Millie an apologetic look before once again taking Max by the arm and trying to placate him.

"That isn't what I mean, Max. I know it's your baby. I am not trying to rob you of your moment, but I think you might get more out of it if you calmed down! I'm just thinking of you..."

So now Neil was going to patronise him too! This time, Max didn't bother to keep his voice down. "Thinking about me? When have you ever thought about me?" he demanded angrily.

The nurse, whom Millie had never met before, could see Millie was getting distressed by this confrontation. She whispered to Millie, "Either of these guys your partner?"

"No," replied Mille curtly. Her tone make it clear she wanted to be completely disassociated from both of them. It almost seemed like Neil was deliberately provoking Max and the last thing in the world she felt like doing right then was playing referee to Max and Neil's never-ending pissing contest. "Neither of them is or has ever been," she clarified.

"I hear you," said the nurse, giving her a knowing wink.

She walked towards Max and Neil, "OK boys, come on. There's a woman in labour over here. Save your domestics for the privacy of your own home."

Max and Neil looked at her disbelievingly.

"What? Are you implying..." began Max indignantly.

"Hey, buddy, I'm not judging. Your lifestyle choice is no business of mine…"

"Lifestyle choice? Hey, we are not..." insisted Neil.

The nurse winked at Neil this time, "Of course you're not. And no money is changing hands for this baby either, I'm sure. But a word to the wise," she dropped her voice to a confidential level, "Don't carry on so much in front of the birth mother. She still has time to change her mind."

"Birth mother?" scoffed Max. "I'll have you know she and I made this baby the old fashioned way, and...I enjoyed it!"

"Of course you did, honey," replied the nurse.

The nurse walked back over to Millie, rolling her eyes.

Witnessing this scene had helped Millie regain her sense of humour, as much as was possible anyway considering her present circumstances. She smiled at the nurse and said, "Gee, there's no fooling you, is there?"

The nurse nodded solemnly. "It's my 'gay-dar'. Can spot them a mile away. Mind you these, two aren't so heavily disguised. Look at this one, with the floppy hair and the tight shirt. Obviously used to hang out at the gym a lot. Anyone can see he's camp as a row of tents!"

Millie looked at the boys and noted with great pleasure that Max had happened to overhear this. Although Max still fuming, he bit his tongue. He knew this wasn't the time to get into an argument with her.

"Mind you," the nurse repeated, completely ignoring Max's obvious consternation, "I wouldn't worry about the baby. I'm sure they'll be good parents. I met their older boy before. Lovely kid." She patted Millie's hand before walking out of the room to brighten the lives of some of the other patients.

Max and Neil gave each other a final glare before Neil went over to give Millie a kiss and murmur 'good luck'. Millie watched sadly as her friend walked out the door. He'd been with her just about every step of the way to here, and she already felt bereft knowing, for the next few hours at least, she would have to continue this journey without him.


	22. Epilogue

**A/N. This is the final chapter, so thanks for reading and I hope you've enjoyed it. Excuse my lack of imagination naming the child, but only having a daughter, I'm not experienced at choosing boys' names. (Would have name him after yours, MissLala, but for obvious reasons...)**

Neil stood and gazed out the window of the deserted cafeteria, much as he had the night Millie had approached him after her birth class. Only this time he was looking out at the dawn. The hospital was already gearing for the new day. In place of the nighttime sound of occasional footsteps echoing down empty corridors, the hum of floor polishers and chatter of the arriving catering staff broke through the silence of Neil's long, solitary vigil. That night all those months ago, his head had been filled with the fear that Jake might lose his life. This morning, he was awaiting news of the start of a new one.

Neil remembered how much he had resented Millie's interruption of his misery that night. To him back then, she was simply an ex-work colleague, and one he had only worked with on a handful of occasions. He was only aware that she'd transfered to another station because it was the type of thing routinely mentioned at management meetings. For someone with whom he shared such a distant acquaintance to come up to him and ask to share his darkest fears had seemed to him almost an audacity, and if concealing his feelings weren't second nature to him, he would have been lucky to have remained polite to her. But then she had inadvertently revealed her own needfulness to him. And that had changed everything.

The months of Jake's illness before he and Millie became friends were the hardest Neil had ever had to endure in his life. Watching his son suffer, the uncertainty of a positive outcome, the petty squabbles between him and Philippa that so obviously arose out their individual hurt - all of these hardships made the already demoralising return to his empty house all the more unbearable. And then there were the endless lonely hours spent at this very hospital, holding Jake's hand during his treatment, trying to coax him to eat when the chemo was making him sick, waiting while Jake had tests, waiting for results, waiting for reports from specialists.

He thought of just how much of his time had been taken up with sitting around this hospital over the past year. And there were two people had shared most of the time here with, namely Jake and Millie. He couldn't forget Mungo either, as he/she was a major presence as well. This brought Neil back to wondering how much longer it would be before they finally got to meet the actual Mungo, and what his/ her eventual name would be.

Neil felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He looked at it and saw the name 'Millie'.

"Neil speaking," he said shakily. The pessimist in him wouldn't let him presume that all was well and it would be Millie making the call.

"Hey, Neil," came Millie's somewhat dreamy voice. "Do you want to come to the room and meet my little boy?"

"A boy, eh?" he replied, as a look of relief spread across his face with confirmation all had gone well. Mungo being a boy would make Jake happy. "I'll just collect Jake and we'll be on the way. Everything OK?"

"Everything's perfect. Apart from the child's unholy resemblance to his father."

Neil decided against verbalising a response to this. "We'll be there shortly," he said, already making his way out of the cafeteria.

Jake wanted to run all the way from the children's ward to Maternity when his dad told him Mungo had finally arrived. He settled for a slow gallop, which had his father quickening his usual pace to keep up.

On arriving back at Millie's suite, they saw she was alone; or rather, that Max wasn't there. A certain other little person, however, was. They first saw him as a bundle nestled in his mother's arms.

Neil was positively beaming as he walked carefully towards Millie and peered down at the wriggling infant in her arms. The size of his grin increased when he saw the child's hair.

"Just like mum, eh?" he said.

Millie glared at him. Her hair had been the feature she most feared her child would inherit from her.

"Well, I think he's beautiful, anyway," Millie pouted.

"Wow, Dad, he's tiny!" said Jake, who stepped even more cautiously across the room than his father. "Hi, Mungo!" he said reaching out his finger to tickle the child's chin.

"He's tiny, but he's perfect," enthused Neil, looking sentimental as he remembered his own boy when he was that small. "And I suspect he may have had a name change."

"His name is Andrew," said Millie, kissing his downy, ginger head.

"Can I hold him?" asked Jake.

Neil brought over a chair and sat Jake in it. Millie put her baby into his arms. Neil noticed the anxious look on Millie's face as she surrendered her son to Jake. He was sure it wasn't that she didn't trust Jake, it was just an expression of that feeling that he was sure all parents must have: that is that right from the moment your child is born, they start to move away from you. He sat on down beside her and reached for her hand, which he took in both of his and kissed sympathetically. Millie's slightly teary eyes smiled back at him with gratitude.

Jake was still caught up in the moment of meeting the child he still stubbornly saw as something of a half-sibling."Hi Mung - drew," he said, correcting himself half way through.

"So, where is Max?" asked Neil.

"He's getting his mother," said Millie laughing. "Overall you know he coped pretty well. Only fainted once..."

"You're joking!" said Jake delightedly.

"Yeah, I am," Millie admitted with a tinge of regret.

"And you? How did you cope?" asked Neil putting his hand on Millie's arm.

Millie made a face. "I got through it, put it that way. But it was bloody hard work!"

"But just look at your reward!" said Neil, pulling the wrap away from Andrew's face to get a better look.

"Why don't you have a hold, Dad?" suggested Jake.

Millie nodded and Neil carefully scooped Andrew out of his son's arms. He walked around the room, jiggling the child slightly to keep him calm.

"He's a natural!" observed Millie to Jake.

"He's the best!" enthused Jake, who despite all that he had been told and all he had witnessed, was never going to let an opportunity to spruik his father's parenting skills to Millie pass by.

Neil paid no attention to their interaction. "Hey Andrew," he said softly into the child's ear. "It's your Uncle Neil here. You know, you are a very lucky baby. Your mother over there, the red-headed one," Millie glared at him, "she's one tough cookie, let me tell you! God knows how I would have got through this last year without her! She'll be a terrific mum to you. And that's Jake there. As soon as you're old enough he'll be there teach you to play football and show you his computer games. You may not be used to life out here yet, but it can be a lot of fun when you're surrounded by these people!"

Neil sat down with Andrew on the chair beside Millie. He stared down at the baby with an almost wistful expression.

"What are you thinking?" asked Millie gently.

Neil sighed, "I was just thinking now Mung - Andrew's here, there's no reason to hang around St. Hugh's any more, outside of work of course. I can't believe I'm feeling sad about it."

Millie put her arm around him, "Well, we have had a pretty full on few months here. But don't fret Neil. We can always come back for a meal at the cafeteria, any time you like."

"Whose shout?"

"It was my idea, so mine."

Neil looked at first at Andrew, then at Jake. "What about these two?" he asked.

Millie tilted her head to one side to indicate she was deep in thought.

"Millie!" protested Jake, although he knew she was teasing.

"I suppose they can come too," Millie replied eventually. "So," she repeated to Neil, "How about it?"

Neil looked over at his son, who nodded his consent, then glanced down at the now sleeping Andrew, whose lack of comment Neil took to also mean yes. After taking a moment to apparently weigh up the offer himself, he met Millie's eyes and smiled.

"You're on!" he said.


End file.
